music LeylaLove • 2 days ago • 100%

One of my favorite Slowdive songs. I love Slowdive for many different moods. While their most popular album, "Souvlaki" focuses more on the pop side of dream pop that creates insanely catchy yet dissociative sounds, the album this is from "Pygmalion" focuses more on the dream side of dream pop. The intro for the album, "Rutti" is a very progressive track, having so many strange time signatures popped on top of each other. The album is generally more psychedelic than dissociative with its constantly changing rhythms. I love Slowdive.

chapotraphouse LeylaLove • 2 days ago • 100%

Like holy shit, he was truly at a point in the grift that it was more comedic than anything. He just kept fucking going at every point, every time I read about something he said I laughed out loud. He was just so comically evil and transparent about it. Why can't we have any more funny grifters like him?

music LeylaLove • 4 days ago • 94%

This is one of those posts where I don't mean for it to be bait whatsoever, I am being totally genuine here, but with the reaction I've gotten for stating this opinion throughout my life, I figured I'd start with thatI do not like Pearl Jam at all, save for a song or two I think are good, I like the song Black quite a bit and I heard another song I can't remember the name of once that I thought was alright. But every single time I try to listen to this band's discography, I hate it. At one point, I wanted to like Pearl Jam and listened to Ten a ton to try to acclimate myself to the album like I've done with many others I had an initial sour taste to. I thought it was annoying. If every band from the 90s is Red Hot Chili Peppers but more or less annoying on a spectrum, Pearl Jam is on the lower end of that spectrum. However, I still find Pearl Jam to be annoying and uninspiring. Am I just too young to understand them? There are a lot of vocalists I don't understand that I like because of how they use their voice as an instrument, but I find how Vedder using his vocals absolutely indecipherable. Someone will hear some lyrics from him and be like "damn I felt that" when I didn't understand a goddamn word Vedder had said. I've listened to a lot of grunge, really love The Smashing Pumpkins and Dinosaur Jr. the most because I'm also a lover of dream pop and shoegaze. I should be okay with Veddar having indecipherable vocals, it just seems like they way he does it is stupid. If you guys have any suggestions for Pearl Jam songs you think I'll like, feel free to comment them, I'm not going to just be a shithead. I'd also appreciate hearing what you guys specifically appreciate about the group or the song you comment. I feel like I'm missing so much context with how many people I like also being Pearl Jam fans, but maybe I'm not missing anything and other people also agree with how annoying they are? help hexbear

Hey guys! I got hit with a fuck ton of overdraft fees and unexpected ubers on the same day I seized out at work. I'm finally kinda coming back to center, and I'm really hungry now. I really don't have the energy to cook something, and I didn't have the energy to call my bank about the multiple overdraft fees before they closed. But they pretty much took my entire paycheck this morning in overdraft fees. I get paid by my other job tomorrow, so I'll be fine, I'm just really hungry after the seizure.

Hey, I'm Leyla, moderator of /c/drugs and very knowledgeable on shit people put into their bodies. Someone the other day made a post questioning if supplements actually do anything. I think this is a very good question, there's a lot of marketing BS behind vitamins and minerals, it's difficult to separate the useful from the useless (and if it's useless, it's probably harmful in some ways). While there is a lot of marketing that deludes information, some supplements and vitamins are still quite helpful and worth investing in. The ones that are worth it are normally pretty cheap too. I'll order these from most universally applicable to least universally applicable, meaning the stuff on the top will probably apply to you, while the stuff at the bottom will be for more specific issues. Obviously I'll specify the issues in the paragraphs. Also, while I will provide sources for what I say, I will say that a lot of this is lived experience. # Vitamin B12 In my opinion, Vitamin B12 is the most important thing you should go pick up. You can get a month or two's supply at the dollar store, and is the one I have personally seen make the most difference in both myself and people around me. [Here's an abstract](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35337631/) that mentions the side effects of B12 deficiency. To put it into more understandable words, B12 deficiency is known to cause - Apathy/Depression - Irritability - Dissociation - Insomnia - Low energy - Visual and auditory hallucinations - Paranoid delusions - Failing memory - There's also evidence that people with proper B12 supply in their body have lower rates of Alzheimers. B12 deficiency has REALLY major side effects. This is especially true if you're a drinker or drug user, as most drugs (alcohol is a drug) run through B12 like crazy. However I know someone who is on the spectrum and fully straight edge (no drugs or alcohol besides caffeine pills), whose entire life and personality turned around after getting on B12. To be clear, I'm NOT saying B12 deficiency is sole cause of your issues in neurodivergence, but what I am saying is that B12 deficiency is enough to make those issues feel impossible to work through. Taking B12 regularly has reduced the amount I dissociate, I have way more energy and focus throughout the day, and my symptoms of schizophrenia have greatly improved. B12 didn't "cure" me being schizophrenic and autistic, I am who I am. But the effects of B12 deficiency were definitely weighing on me before I got back on it. If you only decide to pick up one thing from this guide, it should be this. Edit: [@LaGG_3@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/LaGG_3) left a comment suggesting that vegans take extra care to take B12, as the diet is apparently low in B12. I'm not vegan so I can't speak from personal experience, but everything I look into seems to support this claim. If you question if you should take B12, the answer is you probably should. Worse case scenario, you just piss it out. Like I said, this isn't going to cure your depression and dissociation, but if you're struggling with those B12 certainly won't hurt. [@ReadFanon@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/ReadFanon) wanted to add that if you're a whippit (nitrous) person, you extra need to be taking this or risk giving yourself MS via B12 deficiency. Seriously, drugs/alcohol users, take B12. I'm going back and adding this into every harm reduction guide I write because it's that important. # Magnesium This is another one that's fairly cheap if you get the right one. Magnesium Oxide is dirt cheap and can be found at most dollar stores. If not, it's usually around $4 at grocery store pharmacies. [Here's an NIH link](https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Magnesium-HealthProfessional/#:~:text=Early%20signs%20of%20magnesium%20deficiency,occur%20%5B1%2C2%5D.) on magnesium. To summarize the important parts of the link, magnesium deficiency is particularly common amongst - People with GI issues like Chron's or Celiacs (high comorbidity with neurodivergence) - People with diabetes - People who are chronic drinkers/drug users - Old people The effects of magnesium deficiency are much less major than B12 deficiency, but still affect neurodivergent folk quite a bit. Chronic magnesium deficiency can cause major issues, but for the most part magnesium deficiency just makes you feel a baseline of sick with symptoms such as nausea/vomiting, and muscle weakness/fatigue. Full list of possible symptoms are as followed, with some marked as only being chronic issues - Nausea and vomiting - Low apetite - Muscle tension and weakness - Hypertension (high blood pressure, chronic issue) - People with chronically low magnesium have a higher rate of developing type 2 diabetes - People with migraine issues will have their issues made worse by magnesium deficiency This isn't going to help mental issues directly, but it will help deal with physical symptoms that contribute to issues such as anxiety or irritability. The best thing I've learned going to AA meetings is ASPHALT (Anxious, stimulated, pain, hungry, angry, lonely, tired), an abbreviation that helps to check in on your physical and mental needs before you make any decisions. Magnesium helps quite a bit with the physical side of that list, it's also a CNS depressant so it can also help with anxiety, albeit not a silver bullet. Overall, if you're dealing with a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety such as a weak stomach or being shaky all the time, you should try magnesium. One thing I will add to this is that other forms of magnesium are worth looking into. Personally, I prefer magnesium citrate, it seems to do better as a muscle relaxer. My B12 friend from the previous section loves magnesium taurate and vouches for that. Oxide is the cheapest pills you can get, but if you're really strapped for cash, I still haven't found a reason that unflavored/unscented epsom salt (straight magnesium) can't just be eaten. Edit: [@ReadFanon@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/ReadFanon) also wanted to mention that if you buy from local shops, you can buy the food grade stuff for real cheap, and that's safer than buying stuff for baths. # Vitamin D The sun vitamin! Honestly we're on Hexbear, I could put this at the top of the list because of how little some of us go outside lol. Personally, I actually get very little from Vitamin D, but I know people that it did work quite well for. I'm probably able to absorb enough Vitamin D through the sun, but as I'll go into in the edit section, I'm not the rule. Vitamin D deficiency is known to cause - Depression - Fatigue - Bone pain - Muscle weakness/cramps Most people I see taking Vitamin D are doing so as a supplement for depression, and I've seen it work for a few. Now personally? I still needed to get on an SSRI for my own mental health, it wasn't a silver bullet for depression. However, I did find that it helped quite a bit with fatigue and bone pain. Temporarily taking Vitamin D until I had the energy to go touch grass and get sunlight was helpful. This is one that I consider less important, but it certainly didn't hurt anything when I picked it up. The only reason I'm ranking it higher than some of the other solutions I'm about to list is because it's cheaper, and I've seen more testimony supporting it than other solutions EDIT: [@ReadFanon@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/ReadFanon) has posted new information that makes part of what I said about Vitamin D inaccurate. Originally, I said if you get enough sun light during the day, you're probably fine, but ReadFanon provided an article that puts that into question. Like I said, I try to keep my posts as focused on my personal experience as possible, but I'm totally open to evidence that I'm wrong and will update my post accordingly. If you suffer from any of these symptoms, Vitamin D is cheap and worth giving a shot Their specific comment because it's worth adding > I'm going to be a dissenting opinion on this based on this study and because it's my pet theory that the RDI for Vitamin D is lower than it should be. > > If you're on a restricted diet/veg and you don't get a daily intake of Vitamin D rich/fortified foods then I'd strongly encourage you to consider supplementing this. Also kids - if you have kids then please supplement their Vitamin D intake because essentially it's understood that a lack of Vitamin D especially during childhood development is a major factor for developing multiple sclerosis later in life. A few dollars of prevention can save a ton of complications down the track. # L-theanine This is the first weird one on this list, but I'm sure that the L-theanine users on this board can chime in and support it. L-theanine is the closest thing you can get to an anti-anxiety over the counter. This is the most expensive supplement on this list so far, but it's one that I can wholeheartedly recommend. It doesn't get you high, it just makes you less anxious and more relaxed. It's one of amino acids found in teas that make tea such a calming thing. If you're already a daily tea drinker, getting L-theanine might be redundant, but I personally prefer getting my L-theanine without caffeine. It's also helpful for sleep. Edit: [@Assian_Candor@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/Assian_Candor) gave some good advice on L-theanine, specifically on mixing it with caffeine. Comrade specifically suggests >Humble caffeine is missing from your list and is probably the most powerful OTC nootropic out there and has been a godsend for dealing with undiagnosed ADHD (one of these days I will work up the will to fill out the paperwork for testing .. I swear). Particularly when stacked with l-theanine at 1:2, which gives all the focus with none of the jitters. I would recommend taking l theanine standalone any time caffeine is ingested. If you have morning coffee and road rage on the way to work this advice is tailor made for you. 100/200 Combo pills are available out there for around 30c per dose # NAC NAC is my most loaded suggestion here. For example, if you're a heavy drinker, don't even bother with it, it can make alcohol worse on your liver. But as someone who self medicated my neurodivergent traits with alcohol, downers, and cigs for a long time, NAC is insanely helpful for being off them. First off since I mentioned it, it helps quite a bit with the voice of addiction for cigs, alcohol and gabapentinoids. I don't find it helpful for other vices, but it's life saving for those addictions. It also helps quite a bit with my nail biting. NAC is chemically the closest thing to an actual downer on this list. It works to regulate glutemate (one of the downer parts of your brain) production by helping create other amino acids in your body that regulate it. This is especially good if you're recovering from long term downer use, such as getting off benzodiazapines or gabapentinoids. However, there is evidence that it's also helpful to people with schizophrenia and OCD separate from any previous drug use. If you self medicate with downers, I would definitely recommend doing more research into NAC, or you can leave a comment here with a question about it and I'll research it for you. # Conclusion As always with my posts like these, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments. If I know the answer, I'll respond as soon as I see it, if I don't know the answer I'll research it and give you some sources to go along with it. I generally try to stick with my lived experience for answers though. There are a lot of supplements that are BS, and there are probably more that help that I didn't put in this list, so if you have anything you'd add, comment it and I'll edit the post to add it in <3 > This can absolutely be done! > > I'd strongly encourage people to veer towards Epsom salts that you buy from a homebrew shop or for tofu making as these will definitely be unscented but more importantly they will be food grade by necessity. I can get 9oz of food grade magnesium for $4 here and everything is expensive where I live. Sure I can get lower grade magnesium for $1.50/9oz but 250g (9oz) goes a long way when you're probably taking less than 0.5g a day; a 250g supply will last you in the vicinity of two years. Best to spend an extra couple of dollars here if you can spare it.

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns LeylaLove • 1 week ago • 100%

I'm looking into starting DIY, I really just can't wait any longer. However, I am absolutely terrified of needles. I won't be able to shoot myself up with it. I'm looking into the forms of estrogen, and it appears that I can buy the form used for estradiol pills. But I'm finding very little information on DIY that isn't focused on injections. I'm thinking about making a water solution and just taking it out of a dropper, but I know I'd need a preservative to keep it safe for a long time.

chat LeylaLove • 2 weeks ago • 100%

Yeah, no drinking just high on life but goddamn this is shit that I wish I did when I was drunk. I have been a complete fucking menace to the asshole drivers I deal with as a pedestrian this week. I live in a very car dependant area, and very frequently get verbally harassed or almost ran over. Normally I just shrug it off because I just don't want to care, but now it's like I have to react. In the first kitchen I ever worked at, there was a game of just throwing shit. It was a competition to see who could throw the most accurate throw. The best one was a line cook threw a fry into my shirt pocket from 30 feet away while I wasn't even paying attention. So I've been training how to throw quickly and accurately like my ability to slack at work depended on it. Was walking to the convenience store the other day for some pouches and someone called me the f slur. At the exact same time, I found a block of wood that had been littered onto the sidewalk, so I threw it at their back window. Yesterday, an asshole was honking and screaming for someone in front of her to turn on a red while I was trying to cross. So I threw a few fries from the dinner I was bringing home into her window. What does this achieve? Nothing really, but it feels really good to throw things at assholes. Today some asshole in a BMW almost hit me while I was crossing the street, and I seriously regret having nothing good to throw.

chat LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 98%

How are your nights going? Doing anything fun?

games LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 100%

My favorite Pokemon youtuber released a Melee video. I didn't know I needed this until now

chat LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 100%

Recently, I've cut down on the amount of weed I consume. What used to be a multiple times a day habit has now turned into just hitting my roommate's cart once every couple days. Generally speaking, I feel better now that I'm out of the habit. However, I keep waking up throughout the night because of nightmares. I even hit the cart right before I went to bed, but I still woke up at 3 this morning unable to go back to sleep because of nightmares. I'd be less confused if I wasn't on meds specifically to stop nightmares, they've been quite effective since I've been on them. But it's been awful the past few nights. I'm not sure what to do about it because it's really disrupting my sleep. Any tips?

Hey guys, I finally got a job that pays well! 16/hr plus tip pool! I'm starting next week. I've had the AI job still and that's been covering small things, the hours are pretty inconsistent recently though. but it's been helping. I was supposed to get paid out yesterday but I'm still waiting for it. I'd be fine if I wasn't a nicotine addict. I ran out of nic pouches yesterday, and I'm starting to get pretty anxious without it :/ They're $4 a pack, but I can get 3 if I have $6 so it just makes sense to do that. Any help is appreciated. Edit: The payment is showing up in my bank account but it's inaccessible for the moment. This is irritating me a lot, but I'm sure it's because I haven't had any nicotine today. Edit 2: Covered! Thank you very much

askchapo LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 100%

For me, my comfort channels right now are all of Jimothy Cool's channels, and Shortcat. Jimothy makes Pokemon videos, Shortcat makes Mario Kart videos.

music LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 100%

I mentioned Mac Miller in another thread and it made me think about his posthumous album. It's the only good one I can think of off the top of my head, but they really knocked it out of the park. The people who finished the album clearly cared deeply about him and didn't want to just ride his name into the ground for cash. They didn't even want to overshadow him, with details such as uncredited background vocals from Ariana Grande on one of the tracks. The album also kicks ass, and can consistently make me cry with songs like Good News and Everybody. His death also makes the lyrics of the album hit so much harder, like I said Good News makes me bawl my eyes out on the right day. Are there any other posthumous albums that were this good?

movies LeylaLove • 3 weeks ago • 100%

My go to reference for this is Search Party. The first season is the most engaging TV I've ever seen, the second season is still pretty damn good, but then the show got picked up by HBO and became total shit for 2 seasons. Like god I fucking hated season 4 of that show. As far as movies go, I gotta go with Shrek the Third. 1,2 & 4 are all great, but what the fuck was 3?

I have a job interview at 2:30, but it's gonna cost me $6 there and back. If anybody could spot me $6, I would really appreciate it edit: my roommates helped me figure out the public transport around here, it's confusing asf. Certain stops cost $3 while others are free, I thought I didn't have a free stop near me.

askchapo LeylaLove • 4 weeks ago • 100%

I've never really looked into Zimbabwe and its revolution, but I'm interested in it right now. Y'all have any books or articles to read?

music LeylaLove • 4 weeks ago • 100%

Extra points for the Mao references in the song

chat LeylaLove • 4 weeks ago • 100%

As many of y'all know, I'm looking for a job right now, new housing and transportation situation and all that. Well I got a call back from a shitty nursing home to be a cook and the person that called was a total *removed*, but I scheduled an interview for 9:30 today. I woke up at 7:15 this morning to get ready for the interview. Shaved, got on my cutest dress, everything I could do to make myself comfortable with this interview. Turns out there was no interview. It was all just so I could fill out a paper application. Paid $4 each way to get there, and I'm probably not even going to hear back. I'm so fucking pissed right now. Like holy shit why even waste my time?

games LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

For those who don't know (which I'd assume is most), FEARxNinetails is a Pokemon Gen 3 OU player that has been playing with the exact same shitty team for like almost a decade at this point. They're never toxic, and their team is just such a joy to see. The persistence is also respectable. It's a fairly small community of only a few thousand people, but with their ELO ranging so heavily they end up playing everybody eventually and today was my lucky day.

I'm gonna go down to the bank and try to get the fee waived and make sure overdrafts are off again, but I'm $40 in the hole right now. On the bright side, it was one of those short term loan things so I can do that again and not be totally broke. I'm looking for a job right now, but doing it in such a car dependent area is really hard. I missed the public transit to my job interview today because it came 10 minutes early and I feel like a fucking idiot. I applied for more places online, but I'm about to just walk to everywhere nearby and just see if they have openings. As always, any help is appreciated

games LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

Ready to break my brain again. I can't think of anything else that's made me cry so much that I still love

askchapo LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

I might just be dumb, but I always forget what I sent to other users and it makes me anxious. Is this just a normal part of lemmy or am I just dumb?

music LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

I think this is easily their best song. The guitar solo is just so great

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

This song has hit more on my trans feelings more than many explicitly trans songs? I always hear the "She's running out again" as it being "her", the person I want to be

chat LeylaLove • 1 month ago • 100%

This community has been my oasis throughout the darkest times of my life. When I was being abused by my ex, you guys were there for me when nobody else was. When I became a foster parent overnight and had to start supporting another kid and do court shit? Hexbear not only dealt with the court shit, but you guys got him a Halloween costume. And when my state started banning HRT? It was Hexbear supporting me through those times, when nobody else in my life could. I've been here ever since the major reddit exodus, and I honestly don't know how I made it before I came here. As a trans schizophrenic alcoholic, people in my daily life distrust what I say, what my needs are. I'm generally seen as a burden by the people around me. But I don't feel like that on here. It feels like maybe I'm not fucked up, but the world is fucked up. This place has helped with my mental health so much it's unimaginable.

You guys know me and my post history. I'm currently starting a WFH job that's had pretty inconsistent hours, and I'm really hungry right now. Like I didn't eat last yesterday, so I know I really need to eat. Any help is appreciated, I'm probably getting stuff from dollar tree so it really wouldn't take much. Thank you guys edit: You guys are the best, I got enough that I don't have to do dollar tree shopping! I'll probably go to the river market instead, way better prices and fresh produce is good

chat LeylaLove • 2 months ago • 100%

My ex owned the last car I drove. She did not have a license, so I was pretty much the only person to ever drive in the house. Now I'm out of her house, so no more car. I'm walking everywhere in an extremely car dependant area, there's public transport it just sucks ass. However, I'm liking the walking. The more I do it, the less I even think about it. My ass is gonna look great, I can still get pretty much everything I care about within walking distance, life is good.

askchapo LeylaLove • 2 months ago • 100%

I'm not a very angry person, I don't really have it in me to be genuinely pissed most of the time. Sometimes I'll get irritated, and I can usually kinda DBT my way through it, but honestly I'm really pissed at my ex. The more I think about everything horrible she did and continues doing, the more I kinda spiral into being pissed and it's not helping me at all but I don't really know how to decompress all of it. I'm rightfully pissed, she did some truly nuclear shit I'd need content warnings for, and having that anger is healthy at some level. But like I said, I need to get my mind off this shit so I don't become a bitter divorced dad lol

If y'all have been watching my post history, you'll know it's been an eventful week. Got abused, new housing, lost my job, got another one, and I have some really great room mates. Life is going good right now. But I really wanna go to the grocery store and grab these goobers I'm living with something for lunch. They're going to be mowing their mom's lawn and I have therapy. We're all in between jobs, and they've been massive help to me. We'll end up figuring something out if nobody sends anything, but it would be great appreciated

chat LeylaLove • 2 months ago • 100%

Yeah, title. Went to go pick up my med stash because I need my psych meds and everything was just in trash bags lol. Just glad I got anything back

So I just got out of an abusive relationship, and I accidentally left my meds behind at the house. I'm going to the urgent care to get a new prescription, but my pharmacy isn't open on weekends so the meds are going to be expensive as hell. If anybody wants to send me a few bucks, it would be greatly appreciated Edit: someone just sent me $80 for my meds. That will definitely cover it. Thank you guys so much

chat LeylaLove • 2 months ago • 100%

Things went pretty bad today. I relapsed and passed out for a while, and my ex came home. She saw this, and reacted to this by punching me in the face with a four loko can. I can't say I'm happy with relapsing today, but I'm not going to be punched in the face when I do relapse. Especially not how supportive I was of her through her fentanyl days, which lasted far longer than mine and actively put me in danger of relapse after I quit. I think it's gonna be easier not to drink not having her around. Today sucked, but I think my future is going to be a lot better after this.

music LeylaLove • 2 months ago • 100%

Just been really feeling this song recently