elfpie 1 week ago • 100%
I don't know. Sports conventions are not science. When I see the history of things being banned or allowed, it doesn't always make sense. Then we have stuff like weight categories. Anyway, that's beside the scope of this particular discussion.
www.scientificamerican.com
I believe the problem is never showing evidence, but that the evidence is overwhelming. I could explain the general idea and, maybe, one or two specifics. People that use the XX/XY binary argument wouldn’t be able to explain either, but it’s usually only used because it conforms to a bias. And we are only talking about humans here. Language would implode if we tried to maintain convenient binaries and still back it up with science.
elfpie 1 week ago • 100%
Beyond XX and XY: The Extraordinary Complexity of Sex Determination
Try this. Biological sex is more complex than what is usually taught in high school. And that's only humans. There's this system for instance: Temperature-dependent sex determination
Technology
The burning of the Library of Alexandria for fandoms
elfpie 1 week ago • 100%
I thought the same. Now plataforms have a target audience to focus. The accounts move, the artists have to follow, the rest has a reason to move as well.
taylorlorenz.substack.com
I've never been on twitter, but I'm not that surprised so many of us here were driving engagement.
OR **Another perspective on separating the art from the artist.** Story time. I needed a haircut and shop from the neighborhood is good enough for me. The guy that runs it always had a extreme way of thinking, bordering dangerous territory, but a nice person that argues using what they know and listens. Until today, when I realized he just needed to talk to someone much worse to bring out all the bigotry inside of him. So he’s transphobic, homophobic and doesn’t support neurodivergent diagnosis. He’s a feminist, which the other client wasn’t, so it was horribly funny watching him trying to convince someone that women weren’t better off dealing with reusable diapers. It was bad. I considered leaving, but staying was a last kindness to someone that never treated me poorly, but that I can’t support anymore. He even apologized for the conversation, certainly unaware that his other client wasn’t the most awful for me. Lately, I have been torturing myself by following the allegations against Neil Gaiman. I honestly don’t know the reason I’m doing that, but I am. I was quick to drop him as a choice in entertainment, specially because the parts he corroborate are already bad enough. Then, as usual, there’s the argument of separating the art from the artist. I have my issues with that, but today I found a new point of view with my experience. (not really, but a new way to demonstrate it) I needed a haircut. I just shave my head, so it’s quite simple. Doing it at home during the pandemic was bad. Finding someone else to do it at a reasonable price and be completely satisfied will take some tries, again. It doesn’t have to be him. There are options. The next one might be secretly worse, might be the same or, with all the luck, someone better. At the end of the day, I don’t want to ever have to sit and listen to that kind of conversation because it’s simply convenient and because my leaving will not change anything. This is mostly me venting. It drained me more than I thought it would. I'll probably not answer any comment so soon. I don't have the strength to spellcheck what I just wrote to tell the truth.
Asklemmyelfpie 3 weeks ago • 100%
Ethnic and exotic food suddenly sound like very strange terms. This question made me realize that people from outside would call the food of my country simply Brazilian food, but we ourselves divide and subdivided them in more categories. I'm sure the same is true everywhere.
I know this is not a question for discussion, but I thought this could add more variety to the answers.
Technology
X goes offline in Brazil after Elon Musk’s refusal to comply with local laws
elfpie 3 weeks ago • 100%
I agree there's abuse, but there are laws:
Article explaining the laws used as support / Article with historical precedent.
Both in Portuguese.
World News
Brazil's top court threatens to suspend X by Thursday night
elfpie 3 weeks ago • 100%
There's the possibility Starlink will refuse the order to block Twitter. I don't use one of the major providers, so I'm still unaffected. I just learned there are twenty thousand registered smaller ones.
Politicselfpie 4 weeks ago • 100%
It makes sense with the target audience you mention. Would it be possible to provide a transcription? I used to put a link to a free service with the YouTube videos I shared, but it was terribly formatted.
elfpie 4 weeks ago • 100%
I opened the video on my computer to see if it was a small screen issue. I listened to half then muted the other half. Some personal thoughts, but looking for accessibility guides would be best.
- Any reason for embedded subtitles? I think being able to customize them to your own comfort would help.
- The extra information / notes should be bigger. I think that’s what I usually see. I might have had issue with complete sentences instead of key ideas.
- Present the note before the explanation, that way I have some sense of where you are going.
- Speak a little slower or add some pauses between sentences or ideas. This is the first video of yours that I thought the subtitles were too fast, but it will help with your board format.
Tried one last time full screen on my computer, but still the same problems. Information overload.
elfpie 4 weeks ago • 100%
Just a note on the video format. I usually watch without sound and I'm glad for the subtitles, but it's hard to follow what you're saying and looking at the notes you put on the board.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
Did you watch the video I put in my comment? It explains the different processes involved in sex differentiation.
Your argument has the same issues as many of the others of the same kind, it doesn't reflect reality. You say there are biological differences, which we can accept, but, when a baby is born or when you see someone, those biological differences are assumed instead of being tested.
What I see is colloquial language and scientific language being equated.
-
Society divided sex into A and B, doctors forced and keep forcing everyone into those categories.
-
Science divides into A, B, C, D, E..., which are not easily perceived.
-
Society, instead of adapting or accepting its limitations, decides to choose a characteristic to be scientific, but they don't test anything. They are just being prescriptive with their language.
In other words, you can't tell the gender or sex of someone by just looking at them. One piece of anatomy is not enough, one specific chromosome is not enough, one specific gene is not enough.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
It should have been the failures of not using polyamory. And you're right about amatonormativity being the erasure of aro people, even ace in general I would argue.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
That's on me, I'm sorry. I realized the implications of my words, but failed to choose better ones. I have no problem with your style or tone. As I said, I feel your posts are personal and passionate.
Let's try again. Context is important. I believe a lot in subjectivity, which can be confusing, others need facts and concrete examples, something I have learned to keep in mind when asked in the past. You tell me the best way to communicate with you.
You said I attacked you and that I want to fix your existence. Those are not facts. I offended you and I might have hurt you, these are facts and I won't deny them, and I accept my responsibility for what I did.
You see, I suffer from anxiety and depression. After two months in therapy, I feel comfortable to once again engage in the community and take risks. I just wanted to help (which doesn't excuse my mistakes), but reading this response would make me retreat again weeks ago. I would ask myself of I'm really this bad person you are interpreting me to be and if my contributions have any value, if I shouldn't just let other people more prepared to deal with it. I was also hurt by what you said.
I'm a sensitive man, but my whole life people have called me robotic, unfeeling, reserved and the like. They didn't agree with the way I lived my life and thought trying to change me was a kindness. They are wrong. I've seen so many people suffer because the world refuses to allow them space that I try to make sure I'm accommodating. I believe everyone should grow in life by learning how to express themselves in their own unique ways.
All this is me trying to reveal myself so I can be better understood. Because I think it's important. Because I think this community is important. And because I think you are important too. I learned a little bit about you today. I have learned other bits before and imagine I'll see more in the future. I asked some questions to help me with that as well, but you decide what you want to share.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
The first one might involve amatonormativity as well. This and the failures of not using polyamory when all parts are completely in sync really bothers me. I'll forever be thankful for having Joan and Sherlock from Elementary, even if they are borderline codependent.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
Please, don't feel like we are piling on you. I personally would say you came as a positive disruption, but making sure this is a safe space is a big priority and that means even discussions filled with good intentions have to be careful. You should check tildes for comparison.
Now about forums and chat rooms. Chat rooms never felt really personal to me, but I could never socialize with a lot of people at the same time well. Forums, 20 years ago, were a space I inhabited frequently. Deeper context for me was knowing who I was talking to because I had read their posts and comments in the past. We engaged ideas, but we considered people as well. Of course, not every discussion was the same, with some more abstract than others.
I have been seeing your posts for the past week. They feel very personal, but your approach feels detached, academic. Try being more conversational, asking questions and being interested. For instance: What brought you here? Why do you post? What do you expect to offer and get? Ideas, opinions, experiences? Educate people, get collaboration for your ideas, someone to challenge and strength them?
I truly believe our mods want to be accepting, but their role is also to maintain peace by guiding and reminding we all of our philosophy.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I think this video will be a nice complement:
Chromossomes, genes and hormones have their roles. It's never simple.AMAB and AFAB are really only what a doctor decided. I was sure Mia Mulder had a video talking about how sex is a social construct based on this fact, but I can't find it anymore.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I'm not sure of I understand it correctly. Would pronouns in this case carry the same value as titles do, or terms of endearment? Maybe a mix of both. Titles have the explicit aspect, but terms of endearment inform the kind of relation we have in an informal situation.
The practical use still escapes my imagination. Would you talk more about that?
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I understand the sentiment and the urge to clap back at these kind of non comments, but remember to be(e) nice. Specially to yourself. It's not worth it to spend time and energy dealing with a troll comment.
Privacy
Google pulls the plug on uBlock Origin, leaving over 30 million Chrome users susceptible to intrusive ads
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
My provider, small one from my town, or the attendant just decided to give me the password. After months, I found out how to extract the configurations and used my old router instead.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I hadn't realized how skeptical I was of even genuine attempts from big organizations until I got repeatedly surprised by how they were integrating everyone instead of the usual segregation. Their recommendation for people to not wear strong fragrances shows me that education is a simple accessibly tool that should be deployed more often.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
My comment is all context. The word is not the problem, it's the way it's being used.
Try it in terms of double standards. It's an experiment that has been done. People see a man talking aggressively to a woman and some will intervene. People see a woman talking aggressively to a man and the number that intervenes drops significantly, some will cheer.
Or try it in terms of victims of violence. They see people fighting and they react as if they are in immediate danger. They feel safe with their friends, but their friends suddenly decide to start arguments on the street.
Reading what you wrote, I know you can understand the issue. We are not saying you all are wrong, just that it hurts. Can you understand why it hurts? That's the only thing that really matters and that I want to discuss right now.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
Hello there. I assume you have good intentions with your comment, but I read it as if you were talking to an idea, not a person. A person has feelings that they want to express and be validated. Treat the wound before discussing how to prevent it.
You offered a solution, disengaging, which is nice. I also believe we have a responsibility to ourselves. The problem that I want to point out is you might not have asked yourself the question: "Why don't they leave the situation? " Can you think of a reason? There must be, we can even ask if necessary. You see, what's non essential in my life might be very important for someone else.
About space and fairness. This is not a childish dispute. You have the right to your space. In practical terms, they will follow you home and take it from you if you let them. I'm not being hyperbolic. They don't want you to exist anywhere and will follow you everywhere. Beehaw is a gated space that so many people disapprove, but that serves a very specific purpose, being a safe space, because hiding and isolating yourself from the world is not good to your mental health either.
elfpie 1 month ago • 90%
Sorry for hijacking the post, but I don't think people get why this usage of weird bothers some people. It's not that we (several kinds of weird we) are not used to be called weird or similar. We grew up and found people who were like us and understood our quirkiness. Weird was the weapon of the bigot and we took that away from them. Until our friends, or community at large, started acting like the people that hurt us in the past. We could deal with the bullies and ignorant using it against us, but this new situation was unexpected.
I don't like comparing struggles, but I'll use examples to, maybe, make things clear. Using queer instead of weird would have bothered them the same, although I don't believe it would have worked the same way, but more people at our side would see the issue. And the next one might be much more personal, but reading "good weird, bad weird" sounds like "good negro, bad negro" to me. You don't get to judge or qualify me.
Also, even in a discussion that completely accepts and is understanding of people using weird as a weapon to the point of trying to find another word to be used in a positive way, there are comments that invalidate the feelings of those who are affected. If you believe words have power, why can't you see the collateral damage?
Honestly, I'm trying to endure it until election season ends there in the USA, but I'm starting to feel the need to talk about all the wonderful things I like using the word weird just to counteract the negativity.
Technology
Technology@Beehaw.org, Community Culture, and Moderation
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I was talking about how we always have this type of discussion frequently with my therapist earlier today. It’s always nice to pause and remind ourselves and those outside of our philosophy. One thing that I’d like to add is we might not be(e) nice sometimes because of personal circumstances. We are having a bad day and a comment will trigger a reaction that would be uncommon or we might be aggressive without provocation.
In cases we feel the need to hit back, I’d advise postponing the response by at least one hour. Give yourself time to clear your mind and think things over. And if you are the target of users having a bad day, reminding them that they are not be(e)ing nice is the alternative. Asking questions is the best. “Did I offend you?”, “Did I say something wrong?”, “I don’t understand what the issue is.” Even if they keep the aggression, they will point to the specific issue that needs to be worked on, or prove they don’t want to discuss genuinely.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I read it. I was familiar with that form of activism, but I don't agree this is it. I saw all the examples presented as forms of reframing the situations to deflate their original meaning. The author says using weird is non violent, but it's an attack using a word. The advice is use it because it hurts, not because it makes their ideals less appealing.
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I sometimes say to my best friend, among other generally inappropriate things, that something she does is gay, and she does the same to me. It is a private reclamation of the use of the word gay as a slur, but outside any context, to an outside observer, it’s just casual homophobia.
Let me go back to that child. I don’t think they will hear horrible people being called weird and see it as being bad weird. It’s just plain weird. If it’s not being different that’s the issue, but the specific bad behavior, why the focus is on weird? We know words help shape our perception, we fight for those changes. What bothers me is hearing the same harmful words I heard so many times towards me and around me being used by those who seemed to understand how they hurt. I guess it’s similar to the discussion of being okay to attack someone’s looks if they are on the other side.
Mental Health
Giving up just seems right
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I’m going to present you with resources I think might help. I chose two therapists that speak in a way that resonates with me, but it can be different for you.
The first one is Kati Morton. She has straightforward videos talking about health issues and discussing questions from her listeners.
-
How do I Create a Suicide Safety Plan? – it’s actually a playlist. I recommend watching the first video and looking for something you find helpful in the list.
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How do I keep going when I feel like giving up? – It’s a longer video, but the second question is the relevant one.
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How do I know what support I need? – This one might help you put into words what others can do for you.
The second one is Georgia Dow. She now makes video analysis about fictional characters, but I think they help to understand some issues and distance ourselves to give some more perspective.
-
What you CAN do if you can't Afford Therapy – This is an interesting one. It’s short and to the point, not an analysis this case, just tips.
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How Family Affects our Psychology: Black Widow – I think this a good example of what she does normally nowadays.
The first video from each therapist is what I really recommend watching. Beside that, based on my personal experiences, I can add a few things. I believe it’s really important for you to have two things: Time to feel and process all your feelings / Time to simply be happy.
Start with something you will be able to manage. Ten minutes for instance. Those ten minutes each are selfishly yours and no one else can interfere.
Set a specific time of the day for processing your feelings and try to keep a routine. Any other time, if you have thoughts and feelings starting to overwhelm you, you can tell yourself that you will deal with them when the time is right. Really tell yourself and make it true. It doesn’t have to be a successful experience, but you can’t lie to yourself and skip you self appointment. I would advise setting a specific time for the happy session too, just so you have something to look forward to.
Processing your feelings can be done by journaling. The secret that helped me with it was hearing that I should just use it as a processing tool. Nothing I write, or the way I write, is that important. Just put it to paper (actual paper is best) and trash it later. Just unload it from your mind so you can see with different eyes. Meditation could work, but I have limited experience with that.
Being happy is making a piece of your day good somehow. It’s the time to leave all the troubles behind, because they will be there later on anyway, but not during the period you decided they shouldn’t matter. It’s a breathing room. Do you like to dance, to listen to music, to cook? Maybe you don’t know what you like or might help. Make a list and start putting items in that list that you can try later. Walk around the block (start small), go to a cat café, read a book chapter, watch a video, take a shower, do a breathing exercise, do silly faces in front of the mirror. I really don’t know, experiment and have fun.
At this point, the focus is building your strength so you can deal with the real hardship your life is putting in front of you. When you don’t have to deal with your mind doubling down on your issues, you can try to find your path to something better. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing and maybe it’s just too much. I hope it’s just enough as to help with a first step though.
I really tried to ignore it and let it go as just another passing trend. It’s not my language, not my culture and not my battleground, but it’s hard. It hurt me seeing it slowly spreading and getting bigger. What made me decide to vent was reading someone talk about their struggles and seeing a familiar sentence that might be familiar to all: “I was a weird child”. Being weird is not usually a problem, the issue usually is people being incapable to accept what they consider weird. Different is not wrong, queer is not wrong, expressing yourself and living the only way you know when it’s not hurting anyone around you is definitely not wrong, even if it doesn’t conform with society. All these horrible people hate being called weird because it’s what they having been calling us the whole time, but in more specific ways. I feel using it as a slur now just reinforces the negative connotations and validate their view. **Update:** [semantic satiation](https://www.verywellmind.com/semantic-satiation-why-words-become-meaningless-8650932) to the rescue. Weird became a meme and a trend everyone wanted to take part and use regardless of it making sense.
transgender
New rule: if you support transgender people or are trans, please change your username (if your instance allows it) to include your preferred pronouns
elfpie 1 month ago • 75%
Sorry, I didn't want to make a bad faith argument, but I think it's necessary to clarify the issue.
The exemption will allow bigots from those instances to still have access and the benefit of doubt. People who might have valid reasons to not disclose openly their position will have to create a new account.
If pronouns are a safety measure, there's a big flaw in making exemptions. Will the users know the people they are talking are not marked because they can't be.
Just a thought. Maybe make it a required opener or signature.
(he / him / queer)
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I decided to give a chance to Super Virus Defense. It was made by the brother in law of my best friend, but it was described as tower defense so it sat ignored for over a year. I play on PC, but it's very mobile like. I'm addicted. There's a grind element to buy upgrades, but it's been so non mindless that it reminded me of how big companies just choose to make you suffer. Specifically, I can grind while completing higher difficulties in previous levels or by playing the endless mode.
Playing it made me want to create a post with all the Brazilian indie games that I really liked over the years.
Mental Health
Giving up just seems right
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
There's not much I can do, but I'm here. I read what you wrote and it mattered. I'm writing because I care. You have all the right to express your suffering. You had a hard life and you are still dealing with it. You are in a transitional state, and sometimes being in the middle is the worst place to be.
You know, reading your story, what I saw was a woman moving forward. You have a lot of empathy for your parents, understanding their circumstances and actions, but what they did hurt you nonetheless. So you have to process it so you can keep moving without that weight.
You are depressed. Not a diagnosis, just the way you present your world. You talk as if you're worthless. You are not. You talk about killing yourself and worry about inconveniencing others. I know personally how it feels to want to end this horrible existence and to despair when nothing you said prevented a best friend from trying herself. It's so hard and it seems so easy to end all. The thing is, death comes as a solution but it's rarely what we want.
What do you want? Really. What is it you are moving forward to? Where's your happy world? How does it look like?
The only advise I can give right now is to try to challenge the lies we tell ourselves. Start small. Every time you make an absolute statement (I have no value, I always annoy everyone), find one single proof it's not absolutely true. One instance in which you had the smallest of values or that people enjoyed your company. Then find another one. Also, from time to time, look behind and see how far you've come. It won't change how hard you'll still have to fight, but it will give you perspective.
Seek therapy if possible. Look up how to find a good therapist if you decide to go in that direction. Be more selfish. You deserve that.
transgender
New rule: if you support transgender people or are trans, please change your username (if your instance allows it) to include your preferred pronouns
elfpie 1 month ago • 100%
I understand the sentiment and would respect the decision, even if I don't agree, but there are problems of consistency. You say people should make new accounts if necessary to explore their trans identity, but you'll allow instance wide exemptions.
movieselfpie 2 months ago • 100%
I looked it up after commenting. It's a Trapalhões movie. I probably watched it as a child. I don't know how or when you watched it, but I would have to defend it for historical reasons. It's the first movie with the four comedians that formed the main group together. The special effects are awful for being filmed using videotapes and sending them to the USA for transferring to 35mm (an illegal act at the time). They are clowns, as in circus clowns making cinema, which informs a lot of the comedy.
All that to say, as before, it's good dreadful, something not everyone even believe exists.
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
I haven't watched it, and I'm Brazilian, but I'll defend Brazilian Start Wars anyway. I'll basically defend [any nationality] Star Wars actually. [any nationality] [any popular franchise] needs to be a genre.
Technology
Astronomers discover technique to spot AI fakes using galaxy-measurement tools
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
Does it really work like that? I would say that they are not trying to fool any test, just getting harder to be detected. The goal being looking completely realistic.
Australian Politics
Compulsory voting in Australia is 100 years old. We should celebrate how special it makes our democracy
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
It's the same in Brazil. The electronic transition even accounted for the possibility of choosing a blank or void ballot.
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
I'll be using the information in this site: https://www.verywellhealth.com/coping-mechanisms-5272135
Adaptive coping mechanisms empower you to change a stressful situation or adjust your emotional response to stress.
The point of my post was to say there is a difference between fantasy and plans, and not to judge or act as if fantasies will ever be more than that.
The problem here is fear, not hate. The person that harmed them lives in the same neighborhood and running into them while on the street is a great concern, but my friend could go out in part because of this fantasy. It's small, stupid and generic. Unhealthy is writing useless in your arm using nail clippers or trying to cut your own wrists.
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
Thanks for trying to clarify my view, but, for your peace of mind, just try to ignore aggressive comments like this.
My friend wants to punch their aggressor, so they tell me. They think about running into him on the street and punching him on the face. Between the two of us, I’m definitely the pacifist and I would always want a world without violent solutions, but, in this case, I wholeheartedly support their desire to simply punch him in the face. You see, they ended up hurting themselves days after their incident, weeks later they got the courage to finally look for legal counsel, then their family withdrew support for the supposed well-being of not my friend. To make matters worse, the same night the little bit of power my friend could’ve had was denied, they had an encounter with their aggressor. They didn’t punch his face, they left for home shaking. Should I tell my friend to not think about punching their aggressor’s face? Should I deny them their small coping mechanism? I’m the pacifist, but my fantasies would not be of simply punching him in the face. I would go low, very low, lower than him, in creative and cruel ways that make me actually sick by just considering them in passage, but that wouldn’t be more terrible than the actual reality so many people have to endure because of people like him. Stop judging the words of those suffering under the boot when that’s the only power they really have, their only solace. We are mostly not David, we are Don Quixote.
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
From Brazil here. I always thought latinx was for the community inside the US. Latine follows what was decided here as neutral with the -e suffix. Honestly, initially I wouldn't imagine that x was pronounced and was used only in text.
Linuxelfpie 2 months ago • 100%
There was a serious security vulnerability previous to Python 3.11 if I recall correctly. You can use pyenv to manage Python versions though: https://github.com/pyenv/pyenv
PC Gamingelfpie 2 months ago • 100%
Bastion and Torchlight 2 in 2013, same purchase. It took me ten years to finally get to the end of Torchlight with any character and I still haven't finished Bastion. Later I'd purchase co-op games and slowly move to single player. Lots of MMO outside steam before.
elfpie 2 months ago • 100%
I just now realized that your vote means nothing if the majority of the group you're assigned to voted differently, and it means little when with the majority. I'm not from the US and I thought I had understood the modular voting system and the issues with only two great parties, but their combination is horrifying.
Once again I go back to the Exiled Lands (Savage Wilds this time, actually), and once again I can't help editing ".../Conan Exiles/ConanSandbox/Config/DefaultGame.ini" to strip away the opening credits that I can't really skip otherwise or automatically. Not everyone is bothered by it and the wait time is the same, but I'm happier this way. Do you have some quirk like that in your gaming life? Something that takes at least a bit of effort or research to make your setup just nice? Give me all your most silly and trivial examples. All praise mods that automate doors.
"Plan to follow, look to overtake". That's quite a simple rule that should be taught to everyone. It's a nice instructional video they won't put drivers in the defensive.
It’s really a question. I was going to comment how the term sounds one-sided to me, decided to do a quick search and realized there’s some controversy to the idea. I’m from Brazil and we don’t have a term for that as far as I know, so there might be a linguistic component to the sentiment I have as well. If I say someone is my ally, I’m automatically their ally. Right? We have a common cause, even if the specifics may differ. Or we have a single goal, mission, vision, desire, and so on. We are allies, we are together. Then we have this concept of ally that seems to exist to denote a separation. I’m an ally because I’m other. Or, I’m an ally because I don’t have the same experiences, therefore I can’t speak from the same place you stand. The idea we have to understand we speak from different places is important, but drawing a line in the cause and putting allies to one side is weird. Let me put it this way. Instead of sounding like “understand your situation is different than my own”, it sounds more like “know your place”. How do you feel about that? Am I missing something?
www.psychologytoday.com
I was watching a video by Georgia Dow in which she talked about a study showing how fear drives people to be more conservative. What that reminded me of was the rationalization I keep stumbling upon almost every day lately: "the alternative is worse". We are mostly not revolutionaries willing to die for a cause. We just want to live our quiet lives, so we pay the thugs that offer us protection from themselves. The alternative is worse. I can't criticise people for trying to survive, but I think it's important to be honest with ourselves. It's all bad and the good option is really hard and a scary risk with too many sacrifices. And let me get personal to drive the point home. Anxiety and depression are just my reality. I'm very isolated and avoid interactions as much as I can. I'm in a bad place and would totally tell you with great conviction that out there somewhere is worse. I also believe it could be amazing, but the chances of me suffering, actually, the certainty, makes me think it's not worth it even trying. Anyway. Be kind kind to yourselves, be kind to all the others, but be honest.
www.insider.com
I was watching a video from two years ago about different social norms and this showed up. Found someone questioning the same eight years ago on reddit (when it seemed less normalized). It feels so weird not being aware of this shift, even as a foreigner.
It's an article in Portuguese, so I thought it'd better not to link directly: https://www.uol.com.br/tilt/noticias/redacao/2023/11/15/erro-camera-reconhecimento-facial.htm It's talks about how a woman was misidentified at a festival in Brazil by the use of cameras and AI. Twice. First time she was approached by plainclothes officers that informed what was happening, said they were following protocol and asked for an ID (that she wasn't carrying). She was let go after they were satisfied. Hours later she was approached again, in a violent manner this time, treated in the manner they would typically treat criminals here (or most of the civilized world). She wetted her pants in fear. After being let go again, she decided to go home. The way I understand it, she didn't do anything wrong. She had nothing to hide showing her face and being judged my the state surveillance. She got lucky by being mistreated in a nice way once. She also got lucky the second time for her brutal mistreatment not ending with her imprisoned and unable to leave because that happens to innocent people much more frequently than people imagine. Everything you say can be used against you. Every information they have can be used against you. Don't give them ammunition.
www.telegraph.co.uk
I think there was an effort in the past to make sure it's a family show and disconnect The Doctor from the more mature parts of the whoniverse. Maybe the changes in production and, maybe, the realization adults are too obsessed with it create new avenues for money making creativity.
www.malwarebytes.com
>As far back as 2010, in a piece titled “Little Brother is Watching,” author Walter Kirn wrote for the New York Times: *“As the internet proves every day, it isn’t some stern and monolithic Big Brother that we have to reckon with as we go about our daily lives, it’s a vast cohort of prankish Little Brothers equipped with devices that Orwell, writing 60 years ago, never dreamed of and who are loyal to no organized authority. The invasion of privacy — of others’ privacy but also our own, as we turn our lenses on ourselves in the quest for attention by any means — has been democratized.”* The article is paywalled: https://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/17/magazine/17FOB-WWLN-t.html Another one from 2004: https://www.wired.com/2004/07/little-brother-is-watching/ -- I had never heard the concept before, but it certainly serves to stop me from considering the state we are now as non horrifying. Bookmarked the podcast for later, but I’m sharing it right now anyway.
Something to keep in mind and that you realize after a while is that the history you know without much research or certainty is most likely the history of the ruling class, told to make they look as great as they believe to be. I have just read Three by Kieron Gillen, the intentional Spiritual Antithesis to 300 by Frank Miller. I knew 300 is propaganda that only values the importance of a small portion of the people who fought. Spartans were the real soldiers, the superior people, the only that mattered. Then you have a class of people whose job is to do whatever they don't deem dignified, and fight their battles as well if needed. A class they rightfully feared for outnumbering their oppressors and revolting whenever the opportunity arose. A class they openly mistreated. It's been two decades since I left school, but I'm pretty sure there was no mention of them in my history lessons. I recall the wars, but omitting the detail that most of the soldiers (in the practical sense) were not who you'd assume to be is huge.
imdb.com
If for nothing else, I needed this movie just for how the camera moved. It followed the characters and the action without dozens of jump cuts. I thought the long take during the opening was just a nice way of presenting the players and the incident that would affect their lives, but it became the norm throughout. Anyway, it's a movie about a day in the lives of black people, queer people, favela people, young people that are kinda lost. It's an incomplete work with a strong first act that stumbles transitioning to the second and doesn't find its footing anymore. It's nice to see such a positive depiction of groups that so often only fuel tragedy porn. They can show their honest lives, have fun, be flawed, be absurd, be beautiful and sexy, tell a story that reflects a culture that I myself am not all that familiar with.
www1.folha.uol.com.br
The rest of the article (not translated) is an interview with Cathcart. I guess the hopes of a mass migration to another app are not good. On the other side, Brazil's policies will have a great influence in the future development of whatsapp.
www.thedp.com
In the discussion I read elsewhere, people wondered if the way funds are granted would change and advocated for it. I don't think a system that can say they profit greatly from the status quo will ever care. I also remember how public funding were denied to researchers and then cut without all of it being used.
I don’t really want a definition of what the fediverse should be or was initially envisioned to be. I just want to understand how people actually use it. I started wondering because I felt the talks about its current state and growth stumble in invisible misunderstandings about the basic nature of what we are using or how we are using it. I came here with the reddit exodus, but the site was mostly utilitarian for me, with my attempts to find community a failure. I saw something forum like and treated it like that, and the same can be said about my use of beehaw. Only recently I adventured in seeing a feed with All displayed, which was definitely not for me, but helped me find some communities to subscribe. Federation, personally, is an opportunity for different communities to communicate, not necessarily get conjoined. For instance, I have an account in tech.lgbt, although it’s abandoned. In this group x.y, I focused first in the lgbt, as I have being doing since much before I saw myself as queer, because it’s a very good way to make sure the people around are the kind I wish to have around as a start. That’s my home, a place in which I expect visitors to respect the rules if they want to be let in. That’s to say I believe there’s no public / communal space in the fediverse, you are always on someone’s home and should respect that. The big issue I’d find with the fediverse is that we don’t advertise the outside communities we enjoy enough, mostly expecting something interesting to simply show up on our screens.
Lip balms here usually have a cap that you just pull to open, and that's what I had been doing with the latest one I bought. Several times in the several weeks since I first opened it, I thought it's really too hard an action. Today, maybe because I'm sick and weaker, I stopped to consider my repeated internal criticism and easily screwed the cap off. So, I ask all of you to tell me of a moment when you realized that hammering a problem was not the best solution.
www.youtube.com
I’m not in a very good head space for discussions, but some thoughts that came to mind while watching. - Companies know how much value and power unions have, so much that they form their own. - Racism, as other minorities issues, affect everyone.
Have you ever stepped on someone's foot? It happens. They might get angry, it's understandable. Just an accident, not your intention, but your fault nonetheless. Keep this in mind. I'll be using transphobia in this conversation, because I'm here and the discussion that moved me to write, but I learned the concepts from talks about racism and it applies to many similar situations. What I am doesn't matter right now. It's not about about me, right? I'll open up the most targetable part of myself though: my inner thoughts. Particularly my musings about gender, which are relatively recent (I'm 39). Nothing specific, just the possibility that they might be transphobic. That idea was something I feared and worried about a lot. In open discussions, I'm always careful with my words, but I had private doubts for a long time that seemed ugly, plain and simple. Was I transphobic in the past? Most likely. Am I still transphobic on some level? I don't know. I don't want to be, and that's the point. We are all living our lives the only way we know how to. Sometimes accidents happen, people get hurt, we make things right. Sometimes the way we live our lives mean that we are stepping on people by design. It might still not be our intention, it is still our fault and the fact it's not an accident anymore will mess with our minds when we realize that. So, again, I don't want to be transphobic. That's not what I believe or how I live my life. Again, my intentions don't matter if what I do hurt or endanger others in any way. I believe I can only say I'm not transphobic if I do the work not to be. If I accept my thoughts, words and actions can be transphobic, and that they are mistakes to be corrected. Being transphobic is about how I can negatively affect trans people, regardless of how I see myself or believe I'm doing the right thing. It's about them, not me. I ask that you look at the other person or group when you are in an argument, or just out in the world. See how your actions affect them. See if you care enough to do something about it. And, if you find out you don't want to change, try accepting who you are, accepting any disgust you might feel without reinterpreting yours or other people's reality. **edit:** It was a mistake going with figurative language here in an discussion that intended to be inclusive. I know better. Also, I wanted people to see that the subject of the action is not always the important part. When there are victims, their point of view should be the one validated first, they should the ones we make sure are all right before we decide to seek punishment. And I don't know if this will help, but the imperfect parallel with racism that came to mind was *societal racism*.
www.youtube.com
**An article with the same themes for those who prefer to read:** https://www.whatsonweibo.com/the-concept-of-involution-neijuan-on-chinese-social-media/ >The video talks about the nature of competition at schools and workplaces, 996 working hours, the phenomenon of involution, and the extremes they have reached.
youtu.be
**Transcript here, but I really recommend watching the video:** https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=gsW3VsraJqo *[search for "Applause" to skip add]* **Brief definition here:** https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Amatonormativity >Being single shouldn’t be seen as some non-conformist statement The focus of the video is on aromantics, but it is about societal expectations regarding relationships and how the goal is to live in a life long monogamous relationship. -- The nice thing when watching videos for the second time before posting here is realizing all the connections my brain has formed in the background after so much time. It hadn’t occurred to me that, although I feel immune to the pressures at large to be in a relationship, I have actually entered romantic relationships because of how they would have deteriorated (or so I thought) without me accepting the transitions from friendships. Amatonormativity can ruin it for everyone. You might be monogamous and totally happy, but putting a barrier between you and others that are close because the forms of intimacy we are led to believe to exist or to be okay are limited.
youtu.be
**Transcript here:** https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=zKcPGV6bGFM *[you can skip to the first "(mellow music)" to avoid the ad]* -- I still don’t remember how I started watching a channel about primarily fashion, but the insights I get there would hardly come from anywhere else. This video reminded me of the media conflicts we are experiencing now, with big corporations pretending they have a symbiotic relationship with their audience / customers / employees while exploiting them for maximum gain. The video talks about a marketing practice that makes use of influencers instead of big (expensive) celebrity names for their campaigns and how they basically work for free. About how brands manipulate both the people they work with and their audience.
I've been thinking about the arguments that are increasingly common when dealing with tech: "it's too complicated" and "I just want something that works". My father gifted a used computer to me and my brother when we were kids. Ours to use, ours to take care. He would pay for the eventual screw up, but we had to walk several blocks carrying the tower to get assistance. I messed up a lot over the years, mostly because I wanted to explore the little that I knew and learn more. I had some magazines that expected everything to go well if instructions were followed and no access to internet forums to ask for help. I was limited to just one language as well. I had to find a way out. Nowadays things are much more simple and really just work, until they don't and I can't really fix them. In this world, what people can do is complain. Or offer a report of how things went wrong and wait patiently. It's not even that common for people in general to just go back to the version that worked. There's no version, only the app we use or can't use and it's not our responsibility any kind of maintenance. I have to confess I was going in another direction when I started, but things are really limited from a consumer's point of view. In part, it's our fault for not wanting to deal with the burden of knowledge, it inevitably takes the control away from us, but big tech really approves and incentives this behavior. As with so many problems I see in the world, education is the solution. And educating ourselves might be the only dependable option.
www.youtube.com
*Transcript: https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=3XGIxUXDWqw* The video shows how alternatives may not be real solutions for many of those in need. I see it as an example of how we shouldn't theorize solutions based only in our limited point of view or accept blindly that those in power did their due diligence and are not just in it for optics.
www.youtube.com
**It’s a video about sexuality as a gaming mechanic. The same way you might play as a mage or a warrior, you can choose who your character is interested in. Except you don’t realize you have an option until someone else that played the game in a different way tells you. There’s a focus on bisexual erasure as well.** *If the video is too long for you, watch the first twelve minutes and you will get the gist.* *You can read the transcript here:* https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=iZGkxUTbDqw Watching this now, it’s hard not to think about social media and how the ecosystem is tailored to make you see exactly what you want. We will always interpret the world though the lens of our personal past experiences, but tech is able to steer us away from anything that challenges our point of view these days. It’s a common practice for big companies to edit their products to comply with the demands of specific cultures or the powers that be. There are the players and the world. There are well-crafted narratives and player choices. Being able to role play as much as you want is good, and the same can be said of a world that adapts to your decisions. On the other hand, experience something that is beyond or at the edges of my imagination has great value, and a world whose personality changes solely for my benefit is limiting in a way I’ll never be aware.
This is not a comparison between Tildes and Beehaw. The question really is what constitutes a safe space, but looking at them side by side was at made me think about this issue. I’m new in both communities and I’m aware that they are in a state of adaptation with all the newcomers, something to keep in mind. Another detail to be considered is that the space I talk about is the limitations (rules and guidelines) in which the community can exist to create their own culture. Firstly, Tildes is not a safe space and doesn’t intend to be. It’s far from being a free for all with rampant toxicity either. You go there if you want to have healthy discussions with people that know better than to cross the line when expressing themselves. That line, though, is more defined by practical consequences. You derail the conversation into something that goes in the direction of nasty and it will be cut down. At Beehaw, I see a desire to avoid unnecessary grief. A user might have a bad day and say something in a way that rubs others the wrong way, but that will not be the norm and I imagine it’s expected that people will take notice when called out. Both places incentive productive discussions, but Beehaw puts its users well being above all else. I believe there’s a gap between the two that can’t be filled by anything else. I think this gap is what is necessary to create a safe space. No fuzzy line that can easily be crossed, but a ditch. With all that said, in a somewhat obvious way, I see safe spaces defined by how you make the people inside it feel. Basically, safe to exist and safe to engage. A space in which you don’t have to fear being hurt, even if that’s an impossible guarantee. In a safe space, if things go bad, there will be plenty that have your back. Hostile spaces, on the other hand, are marked by the lack of care for safety. The world is a dangerous place and you should just deal with it or stay locked at home. That’s probably enough from me. What are your thoughts? What do you look for in a safe space for discussions? And how do you know if you are in the right place?
I went for a ride this morning expecting to get a feel of my new tires. It was a thick fog day with all the people that think they don’t need lights (drivers and riders) getting invisible too fast for comfort, so no full speed downhill. I also missed my exit and the (dirt) roads look mostly the same for long stretches, particularly when I can’t see the background. Unfortunately the path lead nowhere and, while tracing back, I strangely got to the road I wanted by accident. I’m still a beginner, but I explored different routes and got lost enough to not worry about not being sure where I am and checking the map. Truth is, I enjoy it. Learning the ins and outs of the small secondary rural roads, going up and down rocky roads, loose rocky dirt roads, sandy roads, mud roads, everything, is so much fun. Recently I stopped to admire the view as well. I ride solo by the way. I should’ve realized it sooner, but the reason I like my bicycle is how it lets me go to places I wouldn’t go otherwise. The limits of my freedom expands. Going around the same route faster and faster is not for me. Going farther without going anywhere is pointless. Riding is an exercise I chose and I can have all the benefits by just having fun. That’s me. What kind of fun do you find while riding?