cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3455464 > Homeless trans/non-binary person, trying to raise funds for winter/cold weather gear > > I was hoping to have a van by now but I’m not very smart or good at anything. > > I need, *among other things*, an actual *good* sleeping bag, thermal underwear, socks, a camp stove, and gloves. I’m too delirious to do the math but all this will probably cost at least $200. > > CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied > > DM me for my friend’s PayPal (since I don’t have one of my own). > > Thanks.

I was hoping to have a van by now but I’m not very smart or good at anything. I need, *among other things*, an actual *good* sleeping bag, thermal underwear, socks, a camp stove, and gloves. I’m too delirious to do the math but all this will probably cost at least $200. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for my friend’s PayPal (since I don’t have one of my own). Thanks.

CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied.

My friends are hungry too, and I want to share with them. My CashApp/Venmo is allthetimesivedied.

chat allthetimesivedied • 3 weeks ago • 96%

Like this really fucking sucks. I still have 6 fucking blocks to go because I volunteered to go run an errand, not fucking realizing the contents of my gut would uncomfortably slosh around. I was sad a minute ago when I thought I was going to throw up—because I actually ate a lot, when normally I barely fucking eat hardly anything. I’m sitting down and taking a break now though.

I hate my life so much. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

Because my dealer was too busy today to help me out and will be too busy selling fucking sticks at this street fair tomorrow, I am going to be coming down off of meth. I already am, but it’s going to be worse tomorrow. Energy drinks/coffee make for a pretty decent substitute. I ***need this***. Otherwise I am seriously going to lose my fucking mind. I am not exaggerating. Please. I have shit to do tomorrow. I ***had*** shit to do today. I hate my life so fucking mich. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

I just wanna charge my phone and post, yo. Venmo— \@allthetimesivedied

Please help. CashApp/Venmo are allthetimesivedied

Because motherfuckers keep pocketing that shit and it is pissing me off. $allthetimesivedied

chat allthetimesivedied • 1 month ago • 100%

Telling you why would not really be helpful. All I’ll say is someone inadvertently reminded me of what a worthless piece of shit I am.

I was only sent $25 total, the other day, in spite of much fanfare and updoots/bumps. I literally haven’t really eaten today except for some watermelon-flavored sour gummies. I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the Thai place that gives me food when they close. Plz help. I know I’m a shit person but I’m not lying about how bad I’m starving.

Please help. CashApp/Venmo are both allthetimesivedied. Thanks.

askchapo allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

They seem to be the only leftist org in my area that actually *does* much of anything, but they’ve come under fire for weird vague allegations, so idk.

Today I ate 3/4ths of a bagel with cream cheese. Tonight at 8:45 I *might* be able to get some free Thai food kicked down to me but that’s several hours, and I feel sick from not eating. (I am homeless, btw.) And tomorrow I may have a chance to take a fucking shower—for the first time in several months, I can’t remember how long it’s been. *B-b-but* I don’t have clean underwear, and one pair of jeans that need to be washed. I can’t shower unless I have those things. You have no idea what being *this* filthy has done to my self-esteem. CashApp & Venmo are allthetimesivedied. DM me for my friend’s PayPal. Plz help.

\* Not really I am just incredibly high. Cashapp & Venmo allthetimesivedied

I just got “kicked out.” I’ve been on and off sleeping on the patio of this Thai restaurant for two years (I’m homeless), and my stupid fucking trash ass friends just have to ruin everything. I’m having a shit day, just want to not feel disgusting. CashApp/Venmo: \@/$allthetimesivedied

fashion allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

I *r-r-r-really* don’t trust the quality of that shit.

technology allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 95%

The I paid $25 for these pretty decent ones, they go for $60 retail. Everything was fine and then I remembered the *third* reason this is trash technology: the screen thingie always comes off, or gets gummed up and has to be taken ‘ off, making it sound like something I wouldn’t even pay $5 for. If it isn’t that, earbuds will either not stay put, or I’ll lose one, just one.

I’m actually having a nice day today. CashApp or Venmo.

So there’s a food cart on the other side of town that gives me free food—literally *the* only place to have never pulled the rug out from under me. But it takes an hour and multiple transfers on the bus. Today I was planning on going out there so I could fucking eat but then of course one of my annoying friends I don’t even know why I call them friends, needed my help with some stupid shit so I literally spent like 3.5 hours doing this shit—not gonna make it to the food cart. Literally have not eaten today except uhhh—an iced coffee and, a couple “hits” off a bag of C&H white granulated sugar like it was a fucking carton of milk lol. Venmo me, because Apple and Spotify are circling my CashApp like sharks right now. /@allthetimesivedied.

chat allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

And that’s probably why my voice always “cracks” and it feels awkward to talk and why I sound so nasally and weird. Idk if I’m just tripping out or not but it took me until now to realize my void carries just fine at a softer volume…and at that volume I can talk normal, in ways that my NORMAL VOICE wouldn’t allow.

chapotraphouse allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

The topic: how fucked the Democrats are gonna be unless they nominate someone who people will actually want to vote for—someone who can mobilize their base the way Obama did, and the way Trump is doing now—and how Kamala kinda *almost* does that, but falls short by being only slightly less milquetoast than Biden. Or something like that. And Creamsicle will be co-hosting.

It feels kinda pleasant at first but that’s always a lie. I know I’m going to have some unpleasant psychological symptoms in a day or two—I’d like to get some supplements to keep my brain from bugging out, and give kratom a try, and also get something to eat, because I’m struggling badly at that. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for PayPal.

politics allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

It really feels like it’s starting to get out of hand, and the leftist/activist community here or whatever doesn’t seem to really give a fuck, I was just going to print out fliers and put them up, then see about purchasing a megaphone. I’m thinking of August 8th for the date, still mulling over where the location will be.

Creamsicle is really worried about me. [Faint, off in the distance] “I DREW A PICTURE OF A WHALE!” I’m sorry I keep asking all frantic and shit like this, I’m sorry I do it on an almost daily basis. I feel like that’s all I do—beg for money and doom scroll. I used to have a personality not long ago. Tbh I wish assisted you-know were an option for this kinda thing. I have zero quality of life anymore and no hope for it to get better. CashApp and Venmo are allthetimesivedied. And it’s not for drugs, nor am I spending it on stupid shit.

doomer allthetimesivedied • 2 months ago • 100%

I’m going to die a very scary, traumatic death and so are a lot of the people who are closest to my heart—we’re all homeless, and we’re all drug addicts, and I have the special bonus of being (sort of) trans as well. I’m already seeing the ratcheting up of hatred for homeless drug users—I’ll be shot in the head and kicked into a pit, and my only hope is that I’ll be one of the very first so I won’t have to live with the pain of worrying about anyone I care about. So yeah, while I agree that America’s collapse would be a W for humankind overall, it’s hard to fucking see that silver lining when things are that bleak. I just want the rest of what’s likely to be a very short life to be chill. I just want things to be normal.

The judge started laughing so hard she collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital when Creamsicle replied to “How does the defendant plead?” by yelling “I don’t know!” He thinks he’s getting “the fighter squad” for killing a judge, so I got him a pizza from 7-Eleven. He immediately goes back to freaking the fuck out the *instant* it leaves his field of vision. He literally will shift gears mid sentence. I know he understands object permanence but ???.

I’m the fucking ghost of who I was just two years ago. I’m in pain every day—my knees are fucked up, among other things. It really does feel like I’m fucking dying and I’m not just freaking out. Can anyone help me? Please? CashApp/Venmo are allthetimesivedied

Here’s Creamsicle drinking water! He was very brave. Most likely “drinkies” means a thing of instant kool aid. I fucking love that shit. CashApp/Venmo—same as my username. Will update when funded.

Creamsicle got some mechanical pencils! Anyways… There’s two big-ticket items that need replaced, though they’re not urgently needed given the weather (which is breaking 100° F today and tomorrow): my leather jacket & sleeping bag. I’d love to be able to order a bivy sack as well, in preparation for the literal monsoon season we have up here. Mostly Creamsicle and I just need to buy dinner, and cold drinkies. CashApp/Venmo are the same as my \@. DM me if you want to send via PayPal, since it’s my friend’s and has their legal name on it. Also fwiw I’ve been (mostly) sober the last four days.

Even my leather jacket. I don’t have razors. I can’t wash my face. I can’t listen to fucking music. I’m sober right now but why fucking bother being sober when you don’t even have fucking socks? One person sent me $5 yesterday. One person. CashApp/Venmo are the same as my username. Please help. I’m out of food stamps too.

All my things, except my backpack, which was bike-locked to the fence. Everything. My sleeping bag. My leather jacket. My hygeine/shaving stuff. Everything. Please. CashApp and Venmo are allthetimesivedied. Why is this happening to me.

askchapo allthetimesivedied • 3 months ago • 93%

It doesn’t seem like that’s possible anymore, even with a trusted mature adult (who’s also a Chapo OG) lined up to hold the bag for me.

But Creamsicle is safe and that’s cool. *”Yay!”* I spent 17 ***fucking dollars*** on a really good Belkin cable. That’s gone. All my good wall boxes were taken by that piece of shit old man who threw away my things—my very last one was taken the other day along with the cord. I also lost a pair of headphones, a laptop, three portable chargers, a JBL speaker, and a bunch of fucking tools, and a torch lighter that looks like a gun, and a cool knife, but I ***need*** the charger and box. I’m tired of this shit. CashApp and Venmo are the same as my username. DM me for my friend’s PayPal handle. Thanks.

askchapo allthetimesivedied • 3 months ago • 100%

It makes me feel like a fucking idiot every time. I never see a fucking adult trip and fall like I do, and don’t tell me it’s OK or whatever, please—I want to know if it’s normal.

chapotraphouse allthetimesivedied • 3 months ago • 100%

“Yay.”

Creamsicle get down from there, you aren’t a hat or other hangable garment! Yeah, someone—_who has my fucking PIN_—absconded with my card and the $100 I had left on it for last month. That I still have yet to report it stolen and have it shut off is a testament to how much of a stupid failure I am. The good news though is I can get a new one tomorrow on the spot *and* I’ll have a fresh $291 (my card reloads on the 2nd of each month). The bad news is I like to eat food, and have about 14 hours before I can eat food again. So yeah. Anything helps. My CashApp & Venmo \@‘s are the same as my username. If your only option is PayPal, DM me for my friend’s \@ (because I’m locked out of mine).

And because I know I fucking suck at holding onto money, I’m having a trusted adult (who isn’t my dealer) hold onto the money for me—when you DM me for payment info, I’ll direct you to their CashApp, etc., and if you send to me directly I’ll pass it along to them for safekeeping. The least I can expect to pay for a decent used vehicle is $1,000, if I’m lucky. Prospects are better in the $1,500-$2K range. Registration and DEQ I’m not terribly worried about because I’m gonna try to find a vehicle with good tags and that’s passed DEQ, since I don’t really know how to do those things and I know I’ll fuck them off somehow. Insurance however will probably cost a couple hundred for X months. I’m going to set up a GoFundMe if it seems like I should even bother, because I’d be lying if I made it sound like I had any confidence at all. So yeah, DM me for payment info.