This is your reminder that national polling doesn't matter, and that you can win the presidency with roughly 20,000 votes

Like what happened to that dude from Metallica's "One"

Yeah. There's always a chance that a customer could have an issue on a weekend and then I've gotta fix it. Once I was on 27 hours of conference calls over a weekend. But as I've gotten better at my job those sorts of things happen less and less.

Honestly the worst part of my job is doing my timesheets and updating weekly status, but when the weather's good I do that from my hammock with a cold beer in hand which makes it suck less.

I'm salaried so I don't have a lunch break. I work from home so I basically set my own hours as long as I can be contacted from about 10am to 3pm and go to any meetings I have scheduled.

When I need to do stupid tasks like timesheets and emails I unplug. The lack of screen space means I don't get distracted.

When I need to do hard work I dock my system and use my dual 4Ks to maximize visual bandwidth.

I bet the LGBTQ+ movement has done wonders for recruiting.

"Ve have footage of you haffink gay sex."

"Yes, I'm gay. That's my husband. The kids were finally gone for an hour so we had some fun."

"Blyat."

He didn't lose shit. Square footage is what matters, not people.

I remember when iTunes was called SoundJam MP and that was much nicer than iTunes. I still miss its eclipse visualizer.

Which was when Slashdot was like BBS before the Eternal September

The top post in music is Alice Cooper's "Guilty"

President Biden’s campaign spokesman said Trump’s conviction shows “no one is above the law.” “There is still only one way to keep Donald Trump out of the Oval Office: at the ballot box,”

That's fucking terrifying

Well that didn't take long.

I'm less concerned with them being effective and more concerned they'll fuck up and kick off Kessler Syndrome

A big one is that pregnancy and child birth SUUUUUCK. Women finally have the ability to avoid it entirely, and I don't blame them.

You dodged three bullets, bro. If a woman gets turned off by asking then she's either not into you or she wants you to chase her, and both should be deal-breakers.

Carl Sagan co-wrote a paper about what we would expect to find if there had been aliens in the ancient past. Erik von Danniken took this and added a bunch of racism to create Chariots of the Gods.

Carl Sagan, to his credit, was regretful for writing the paper and sparking this ridiculousness.

I'd think it would be common sense not to be driving when you have a court appearance. I'd put on at least a collared shirt and a tie and take the call from a quiet place where there's nothing else going on.

🇺🇸 *And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free" 🦅

Hopefully this works out better than the time they made iTunes for Windows

If a woman has a problem with me asking if I can touch her then I probably don't want to.

You're getting almost as jaded as I am. Welcome to the club! We have punch but it's bitter like our hearts

1. Pay people a penny per pound for collecting plastic waste
2. Pass this fee along to plastic producers

Southern country-themed restaurant chain Cracker Barrel, with over 660 locations nationwide, has seen a significant decline in customers, losing more than 16 per cent in just four years

I wonder how much COVID contributed to that.

I don't have any resources but my Volvo has a long, low hood and a heavily padded engine cover

I heard an interview with the creator of KSP1 and it made me even sadder about the death of this game. His next plan was basically Kerbal Aeronautics Program, where you'd build progressively bigger and faster airplanes to accomplish missions. I could see it growing into a game franchise, kind of like how SimCity had a bunch of similar simulator games with different premises.

Anyways, I've gotta go rescue Jeb again.

We can't have pop-up headlights because of pedestrian safety, but you can buy a 5,000 pound vehicle that does 0-60 in three seconds and has a hood level with most people's heads because that's totally safe for pedestrians.

I'm sure there's departments in PA where he'd fit right in

I've been to three local grocery chains and all of them have frozen turkey breast, but no turkeys.

I mean, it's nearly June so I understand why, but I have a hankering for turkey and need to go to an actual butcher shop.

I can tell you're not from the US because I didn't encounter derivatives until 12th grade

"Are your balls filled with plastic? You may be entitled to financial compensation"

Nah, you're not worth it.

Real smart of you to change what we're talking about in the reply. That's a classic move to make yourself seem like you made a point.

Fascist regimes don't last long because they all eventually turn their violence inward. They breed the sort of mistrust and lack of questioning that don't make them effective societies.

Seeing as most of the country isn’t right-wing

Are you talking population or land area? Because only one of those matters and it's not population.

Imagine how much better early Trek would have been without Shatner Shatnering up everything.

Just watch the documentary "The Captains" to see why.

Turkeys

Never trust someone from York County.

I would like to primary him. Not because I think I'd win - I definitely wouldn't - but because I want to ask him what the fuck happened to him. Like, dude, you used to be cool.