asklemmy Ask Lemmy What irritates you the most with your own language?
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    Lando_
    11 months ago 100%

    Homographs are just cruel. As a native english speaker, it's like... bullying for someone trying to learn the language. Read vs. Read - evil.

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  • casualconversation [Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation I'd like to find documentaries that are stylistically very different than the apparent norm.
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    Lando_
    11 months ago 100%

    Sounds like someones overdue for a re-watch of Alone in the Wilderness. Lol.

    I could listen to Dick Proenneke's matter-of-fact narration for hours.

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  • asklemmy Asklemmy What are some herbal teas you would consider essential in a well-stocked tea collection?
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    Lando_
    12 months ago 100%

    Don't get me wrong, I love honeybush but the honeybush that I've had has always been a very light flavour compared to rooibos. Like, with rooibos I feel like I'm having tea as opposed to honeybush essenced hot water

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy What is the female equivalence for male macho culture?
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    Lando_
    12 months ago 100%

    Depending on what you're looking for "girly" could fit.

    Ex. If a macho man is a "manly man" (which I don't think is entirely accurate because I think the concept of machismo is much more complex than that), then a "girly girl" would kind of be the equivalent?

    Alternately, "femme" can be used to mean kind of the same thing but more respectfully since "girly" has a rather childish connotation. "Ultra femme" or "High femme" can be used to describe someone that strives for or is the peak of feminity but then... defining what that means is a whole other thing that's probably just as complex as defining Macho/ Machismo.

    Not sure if this helps but I wish you luck in your search for the word.

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions It took me 16 years to figure out why I hate a Journey song. What song did you hated until you figured out why?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I HATE Lost Boy by Ruth G.

    I don't know if I fully understand why but I'm pretty sure it's a lyrical issue. Like something about the rhyme scheme or flow of lines just gives me really intense "I'm in 4th grade and writing my first poem ever" vibes.

    The music itself probably also bothers me but I don't know music theory well enough to pinpoint why. Musically does it also sound like someones very first attempt at song writing? Or does it sound better than that which then makes the terrible lyrics really stand out?

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  • canada Canada Love and music: Why a Saskatoon couple chose to die in each other's arms
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    canada Canada Far-Right Activists are Planning an Anti-Sex-Ed Convoy Targeting Alberta Teachers’ Association Building
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Don't have any sources but it seems pretty likely that Canadian hate groups have similar sponsors to American ones so it's a little like planting the same seeds in different soil, it's not really a surprise when you get the same tomatoes.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Everyone with your exact job title in your industry vanishes, how long until awful things happen?
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    asklemmy Ask Lemmy Everyone with your exact job title in your industry vanishes, how long until awful things happen?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Payroll admin so... if you hadn't specified that's it was just within my industry I think the whole world would come to a standstill by Friday. Lol.

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  • memes memes Special group
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I raise you people who email screenshots of pictures they have saved in their gallery.

    Like WTF are you doing?? SEND ME THE ACTUAL PICTURE! Why did you take a screenshot? That's a whole extra step!

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  • yuri Yuri Yuri fans are eating well next anime season
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Just looked these up, had heard of a couple. Has anyone read mangas that can speak for them? None of them are really grabbing me.

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  • casualconversation [Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation Where are all the Positive, Wholesome Communities gone, and where are all the hugs, where is my wholesome memes, to help me fight, the politics
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Witchy memes has been surprisingly active too. I'd add tumblr and wholesome Yuri but those aren't nearly as active as witchy memes. Lol

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions *Permanently Deleted*
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I mean, you really are in a tough spot because all these emotions around this desire for connection: the want, pain, grief, anger, sadness are all the ways in which your body/ brain are screaming "I need this" so I can see how the obvious solution would be "I just have to stop wanting it" so that I can make the screaming stop

    but I think what the original comment (and potentially some other comments) are saying is that you maybe have to turn toward the, listen to it, honor it (in a practical sense maybe get therapy or find other social services to try and meet the need in the interim) and then tell yourself that you are going to get your body/ brain what it needs, you're just going to do in a different way. You're going to work on things that matter to you, and move forward down that path, instead of the one you are currently on.

    It's not easy to listen though. Listening means facing a lot of the places that fear comes from. It's all just very hard and I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for.

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions *Permanently Deleted*
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I love this response.

    I think a lot of people view the search for a soul mate as a quest to find the person that's going to love them as deeply and unequivocally as they love themselves but neither of those goals are really... the thing you should be striving for.

    I'm married and I don't think my husband loves me as much as he loves himself (which might sound sad) but I don't want him to love me the same way he loves himself. I want him to love me as his partner, as someone who is working alongside him to achieve what we mutually hope to achieve and the things we individually want to achieve.

    There's a reason that bonds develop during shared experiences. Love comes from doing something with someone, a partnership comes about when you want to do a lot of things with someone. You can have so many meaningful connections working with other humans on things that mean something to you.

    I hope OP can find a path forward where they pursue the things that matter to them and can find connection (romantic or otherwise) in the shared experience that comes from their pursuit.

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  • writing writing Looking for a very specific word processor (that might not exist)
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    It's not as if those things impact my workflow at all though. If I was doing some editing where I needed to find and/or replace I'd probably download as a doc and do it offline but for sitting down to write it doesn't give me any trouble.

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  • writing writing Looking for a very specific word processor (that might not exist)
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I've heard a lot of people say they struggle with google docs lagging with big documents but I write exclusively in google docs and I haven't had any issues with this.

    Current project is 550 pages and google docs handles it perfectly fine. It's a bit slow on the ctrl + f (but by "slow" I still mean under 30 seconds) and at start up it'll take maybe 30 seconds to load the pages initially but once they're loaded I can scroll to the bottom and get to work.

    I don't write on mobile (for obvious reasons) but even when I want to just check something on the app, the lag issues do make large documents inacessible but for writing on PC/ laptop I've had no trouble.

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions *Permanently Deleted*
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I don't know what the best system would be but is the phrase something that makes sense? Like, if the phrase was "there is no god here" and you had "t__ is no god here" there aren't that many words that fit.

    Also do you have an unlimited number of guesses or will it lock you out at some point?

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions Why do dinosaurs have big heads and tiny arms?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Someone will likely chime in with a more complete answer but the short answer is large therapods had big heads because they needed big strong heads for killing big strong prey.

    If a stronger bite results in more successful kills, that creates a selective pressure towards the individuals with stronger bites. Weak bite dinosaurs die. Strong bite dinosaurs live.

    To get a stronger bite, you need a lot of features. (Ex. more muscles, different structural elements) and this generally leads to heads getting bigger because big heads have more places for muscles and will then bite harder. Plus, bigger heads can bite bigger things (like, bigger necks).

    The opposite is true for the tiny arms. The arms are not tiny because it's beneficial for them to be that small. They're tiny because there's no reason for them to be big.

    If you have two individuals. They both have big powerful legs, and big powerful heads but one also has thick ole arms. If those arms don't provide any advantage to the individual, then they just cost energy, and put that individual at a disadvantage because they spent energy on arms while the other guy did just as well without them.

    There is a much better, much more science-y answer to this too but I hope this helps in a more basic sense.

    And I bet there are some cool YouTube videos and such on this exact thing if you want to do further research.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy What Google search in your search history is for something innocent but looks really messed up to others ?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    How many litres in a bathtub

    How many litres of blood in a human

    I write fiction. This was actually for a romance if you'd believe it. Lol.

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  • keepwriting Keep Writing Why I'm writing first-person present tense for main character, and third-person present tense for other characters. Tell me your opinions or tangents!
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    The correct POV for a story, in my opinion, is the one that best serves the story.

    So it sounds like you're making a solid choice for yours!

    I've noticed I have a preference for third person limited, and I think the reason for this is that it allows me to tell a story without feeling like I'm pretending to "know" my characters well enough to write from their perspective. Rather, I write their stories from the perspective of the character I know the best, and do so with as much empathy as possible, without "being" that character.

    Which kind of makes sense since I have a tendency to write about real people but perhaps I should try an exercise where I write in first person just to see if it really does feel too much like my own voice.

    Sorry, that's was a bit of an aside. I wish you the best in your story!

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Can true happiness ever be achieved, or is it an ongoing pursuit without a definitive end?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I use "tired" for any physical stuff that affects my mood, so if I didn't sleep, or I'm sick, or on my period, those are the days I'm most likely to mark as "tired"

    I can't remember why I started tracking (I think I was just curious) but I'm going on four years now and it helps a ton with trends and feeling like I'm not just lying to myself when I want to say something like "I've been feeling tired a lot lately"

    Like, before tracking, I don't think I was even comfortable saying I experience depressive episodes because I just straight up didn't believe it was that bad, but with real data I'm able to see my "happy" levels declining month to month.

    And "tired" is a useful metric in this context because it denotes days that "tiredness" was interceding on my happiness.

    For example, let's say I didn't get a lot of sleep. I struggled through the work day. But I went to see a movie with friends in the evening. If I spent a solid portion of my day not aware or caring that I had been tired, I would mark that day as "happy"

    But if I was tired in the morning, went to work, came home, lumped around for a few hours and went straight to bed, I'd mark that as "tired" and if over 50% of my month is days like that, I would want to take action.

    Because I've had months with 80%+ happy days, so if I'm noticing my happy levels falling (Ie. 60%, 50%, 40%) I want to do something about it. I want to be doing counselling again, or I want to be going to the gym more, or seeing my friends more often.

    So I guess for me, tracking helps make mood signals more obvious?

    And on a daily level, I think it's also useful to do that little bit of self-reflection. Like, "yeah, there were some sucky things that happened today, but was it day "bad"? Or was it a good day with bad parts?

    I'd advocate for anyone to try it, with whatever words/ moods make sense to you.

    Thanks for asking too! It's fun to get to talk about it with someone.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Can true happiness ever be achieved, or is it an ongoing pursuit without a definitive end?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I track my mood in a journal and each day and I've given myself four options for my overall mood was for the day. The options are:

    Happy Okay Tired Bad

    Perhaps counterintuitively, I mark the majority of my days as "happy" for the very reason you've described.

    The vast majority of days, I'm not "happy" by most people's standards. I am content. But I think it's actually quite useful to call contentedness happiness.

    For me, marking a day as anything other than "happy" requires some negativity to enter and for it to persist long enough that it spoils the overall contentedness.

    For example, even if I wake up exhausted, depressed and otherwise miserable, if I take a nice long shower, have a cuddle with my husband and watch a show I love, I might still be able to salvage that day from "bad" to "okay"

    I think it's important that people don't treat mood as a fixed immovable state. It's almost always a signal that should be acted upon.

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  • bisexual
    Bisexual Lando_ 1 year ago 93%
    Going to pride parade today and I'm nervoυs (Advice? Support?)

    The last pride parade I attended was as an enthusiastic and supportive straight ally (lol). It was a couple years ago, pre covid, and since then I've... noticed some things about myself that obviously led me here. I came out to myself in February of this year after a same sex experience that left me with no more questions in my mind (holy fuck girls are soft) so I'm pretty new to this. But I'm still very much closeted to my friends and family because I'm married (to a wonderful man) and I'm not really ready to have a conversation with people about how my relationships are organized (cause that same sex experience wasn't just a one off thing. It's a long distance... thing. Like, I love them). So on the one hand, it shouldn't really matter if someone in my life finds out I'm Bi. The real part I'm closeted about is that I'm polyamorous but I'm not really at a place of "pride" with any of it. My husband knows, obviously, and he's coming to the parade with me so if I just don't advertise my bisexuality then I'm safe and I'll basically be attending exactly the same way I attended before. But I wanna paint a little bisexual coloured heart on my cheek. And I want to do this properly, just for myself. Like, it feels very antithetical to ATTENDING PRIDE to do so in a way where I pretend I'm straight. So advice? Support? Tell me about your first pride parade as a bisexual! Also the chances of me running into someone I know are basically zero. I live in a massive city. My fear of the little pink, purple, blue heart is completely unreasonable. My brain is just really talented at finding things for me to feel bad about.

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    keepwriting Keep Writing 📢 Write every day, and win disappointingly mediocre prizes!
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 0%

    Yeah, I'm using an app where I can't seem to access the messaging (though I logged in on desktop just to see where it was/what it looks like so I did get your message). Haha. Do you use discord at all? (Also for the record I continue my streak of contributing nothing to our score. Lolol).

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  • keepwriting Keep Writing 📢 Write every day, and win disappointingly mediocre prizes!
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I'm using the Memmy app and can't seem to figure out how to pm (lol) but I achieved no writing today! Haha.

    I'm hoping for a better show tomorrow.

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  • vancouver Vancouver I work in a B.C. food bank. We’re serving triple the number of people we used to. - Macleans.ca
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I don't know that it's the frivolous spending that has people using food banks.

    I can appreciate the sentiment here (I actually have a coworker with rich parents who practically gives me an aneurism every time she mentions her finances) but I don't think the people who are frequenting the food banks are the ones who are choosing between upgrading to the latest phone and keeping their old one, I think people using food banks are the ones deciding between eating and paying the cheapest phone bill they could find.

    Not trying to argue with you for the sake of arguing either, just wanted to advocate for some empathy.

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  • keepwriting Keep Writing 📢 Write every day, and win disappointingly mediocre prizes!
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I'm available if someone would like a partner although it's unlikely that I'll be a high performing partner (2-3 times a week would be my estimate).

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Ladies of Lemmy, how common is it for women to have foot fetishes like some men do?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    Lady here and I can only really chime in with "feet don't do anything for me"

    Actually, for my work, people send me pictures of reciepts for reimbursement and I got a batch of like 15 with one image that just had this cracked skin, mangled nail image of a big toe (next to a reciept) that left me a just a little more "decidedly not into feet" than I was prior to seeing that image.

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  • bisexual Bisexual What are your favorite Bi fashion choices?
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    Lando_
    1 year ago 100%

    I'm a new/ confused bisexual so I genuinely don't have anything that makes me feel bisexual just wearing it.

    I wish I could wear loose button ups (that's my baby bisexual dream) but they never look even remotely androgenous on me because the body shape I've got is pretty stereotypically feminine. Like, loose button ups especially just flow off my chest in a way that only really makes me look bigger than I am, while tight button ups make me look like a stripper.

    The closest I've come is an undershirt with a loose, boyish button up worn open, which I like to do but again, with my figure, I don't think it says bisexual so much as it says "look, boobs"

    So yeah, I'll be following this thread for tips!

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  • fanfiction
    AO3 outage

    Not going to link an article since the party behind the DDoS attack may not be who they say they are (meaning their motivations are essentially unknown) but I figured it might still be worth posting a discussion thread, if only to see what people are going to be doing while AO3 is down.

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