If you want a straight line, you have to put a single penny in the bed of the truck. The weight is enough to cause it to pop a wheelie!

Thanks for this. Helpful comment.

Question: Can someone report anonymously to a non emergency number?

I mean I get you probably shouldn’t call animal control or something, but if someone just really does not want to involve themselves with police/emergency services, is there a better option?

I helped open a community center in my hometown. We had more than a handful of volunteers who were brought up with a “no 911” mindset.

I guess I’m just curious if there’s an option for folks who are just flat out opposed.

Pay phone is anonymous answer, but the finger condom requirement will likely yield laziness.

Will you please re-read my comment? I specifically asked how to report it anonymously & in no way mentioned the police.

Please please please use some basic cognitive skills here.

Maybe, but it was the marketing industry that beat that dead horse first. They killed that horse back in the 90’s & it was already pretty lumpy by the time Reddit got ahold of it in ‘05.

Doesn’t make the Reddit use any more palpable, just saying it’s been around for a bit…

What an unhelpful reply.

Honest question, you seem like a great person to ask.

In the event fingerprints weren’t a issue…

What would be the best way go about this anonymously?

For the idiots like me, joke is in the title… took me way too long. I kept looking at the guy going “he ain’t got a left” 🤣

“Calm down puddin’, ain’t nobody tryin’ to eat your pie…. -SMACK-”

lol, I don’t think most incels could find a truck stop if they wanted too. There aren’t any to stop at along the way between their rage boners & their keyboards…

I wanna fuel a new complex within the religious right! Now that crowd values a truck stop!

You haven’t been paying much attention to the current state of journalism, have you?

Twitter is a decent portion of their revenue stream, and given that none of us want to pay them for their efforts, what do you suggest they do?

Those clicks are their livelihood & we’re all sitting here reading the article pasted directly to this thread.

WE, INCLUDING YOU, ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS TOO.

E: “I don’t wanna pay for the news, I want journalists to forgo their living & only post their work on sites I’m actually willing to steal their content from”

Keep on downvoting children. Y’all suck as humans.

This needs to become a modern day chick tract. Print up tons of this meme & leave them in truck stop bathrooms across the country!

You can follow it up with one about how Viagra will make hair grow on your palms!

It’s Tabasco sauce! They use it for Bloody Mary’s & pepper spraying bigoted patrons.

Look, I’m no aficionado, but this piece is just transcendent. Sure, this starts off a bit messy, but it becomes a solid poop joke several stories up.

Let’s not discount the importance of this piece here.

So if a Kentucky Shower is gettin naked in the rain, this would be a…

Florida Flash Splash?

Arkansas Southpaw?

Texas Turd Step?

LIVESTREAM

Golden Parachutes are for those who damage the population, not the brand.

Silly caboose, get your head in the game & damage a way of life!

Take it to a Brian Eno, they’ll swap out it with a steamy fetid one, a few questions asked.

🎶 foetus in the morning, foetus in the evening, foetus at supper time… 🎶

What do they look like after you eat one?

Roughly 11” of the British Trouser to 9.5” of the American Pantaloon.

But have you enjoyed the culinary delicacy that is TREET?

E: Albeit, I’d be lying if I didn’t suggest that you hold out for our true hero here in the states:

Ahem. That chlorine-washed minced amalgam has a name.

…and it comes in a can. Does your amalgam come in a can?

Baste a turkey with peanut butter. Stuff it with pulled pork/sausage & slaw. Smoke it or grill it.

It’s good any day of the week!

You got a newsletter? I’d subscribe.

Hell. Yes.

Fry up that skin like a piece of bacon. Brine some tomatoes. Mix up some concoction of mayo/gravy/whatever suits your liking…

Or…

Dice up that turkey & skin. Press it together into discs with the leftover stuffing/dressing, and brown it up like a patty with some butter…

This goes surprisingly well with a bit of canned cranberry mixed with mayo.

Leftover Turkey sandwich time is the Holiest time of the year.

Well, the last guy they let have falcon killed a baby black bear & blamed it on a bicyclist…

I’m guessing they needed to sure up their ranks after that nonsense.

There are two wolves inside of you.

You don’t have insurance, but you do have access to a third wolf…

Oo-De-Lally Oo-De-Lally Oo-De-Lally

It’s the lack of extraneous gold fringe tassels that really tells you something. So many times these contracts are null & void right out the gate because some goober wants to fancy it up with unnecessary gold tassels.

This contract though… this contract is surely worth its weight in gold plated fiddles.

don’t you test us now… that’s how you get an Arby’s in your town.

Write “If found, please return to Minot AFB, ND c/o Duane” on them & scatter them in various airport restrooms across the US.

Wait… Like the Principality of Sealand?

Was Major Bates still there?

May I suggest…

“A Relatively Unheard of Agreement in a Mild Shade of Aquamarine?”

I choose to believe they’re blueprints for the National Archives & these two might just know someone wacky enough try and to steal the Declaration of Independence.