Finally, a product for the Everyman. Thank you.

A man can dream, though. A man can dream.

We all have our own lifehacks.

Oh, haha, I can see that I sort of phrased that badly. What I meant was that I fucked my sister’s brains out on that air mattress, and that we’re now married. Nothing weird, lol.

Nope, this is my genuine, unfiltered, dogshit opinion. I genuinely believe execution is the correct option when someone has a slight difference in preference compared to me.

Daaaamn girl, nice rack

“We’re making an effort, see?”

In 5 years:

Studies show menthol cigarette consumption has remained the same.

I do not trust they will handle this without corruption meddling laws and loopholes.

I think people who prefer things other than what I prefer should be round up and shot.

I want to repurpose this as a miniature version of those DJ Hero controllers.

Zuck my cock, Meta.

They finally rebuilt him; they had the technology.

The feeling of resting on a slowly deflating air mattress before you pack it up is amazing. I remember one time, my sister (now wife) and I went on a camping trip with an inflatable mattress, and we both just slooowly let it deflate while we laid on it before we packed it up. Good times!

I don’t own an FM radio small enough to shove up my ass, which a phone with FM would solve. I’m sure phone designers will realize their untapped market soon enough.

I’ve been running modified Spotify IPAs and desktop scripts for years to get around paying premium; here’s to hoping that I can still play these audiobooks!

I dunno about you, but THIS Queerie is trying their best to de-Google.

I’m a grown man; I eat the crust.

Hell yeah, you got that mini toilet brush type shit. Enjoy!!

Hell yeah, here’s to hoping for wider adoption. Keep on truckin’.

“Gorey hole”

“Oh god! Our house is living right next to a source of renewable energy! The horrors! People will gawk at the unsightly solar panels!”

Nah man I’m just happy renewable energy is growing. Coat my house in windmills and panels, baby. Turn that shit into a functional aesthetic.

Oh no, they’re getting desperate

Phones should have FM radio not as an emergency feature, but as a method of banging out the tunes. I wanna jam out at a campsite with no downloaded music and no cell service.

People who say “dead chat” are the dirt beneath my feet. Oh? Really? The chat is dead? Thanks for letting me know! I’m sure this acknowledgment will sprout life back into the chat at once.

Saying “dead chat” is a waste of metaphorical oxygen. You want to revive chat? Bring up how your bathroom has mold, that you got your sister pregnant, send a meme, send ANYTHING but “dead chat.” It does nothing but waste notifications and time.

I know I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but I’ll die on that molehill.

“That’s Bwuh.”

“Huh?”

“No. Wrong.”

Activating my kritzkrieg so I can get guarantied crits on my gender

I remember hearing that either the Navy or Marines had rampant gay sex. If I can get that through torrenting, I’m in.

I am terrified thinking about how many pilots or aircraft engineers zerk off to aeromorph porn. There is too much plane porn online, some of you people are lying about being innocent.

Marge absolutely going ham on Homer in the banner ad while I’m trying to zerk it to family-friendly incest porn :/

“I anxiously await your unboxing video,” he wrote.

Lmao

I will never back down from the death hill of “SHIFT is run, CTRL is crouch.” I don’t care what Minecraft’s defaults say, every other game I’ve played has had it this way.

Would For both

I went to the doc recently for a colonoscopy and he was all like: ”BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now.... BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite..... BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….”

Nonono, you don’t understand, dude. See, there’s these hats, right? But sometimes, the hat has this super rare effect, see? And, if I spend $2.50 per crate key, I can sell that unusual hat for more than I spent on the key, making profit. OR — hear me out — or: I could spend the unusual i unbox on MORE crates and keys, and get more unusuals.

That’s not digital gambling, right? Right.

Yeah I wouldn’t mind beheading a congressperson that passes networking laws which hinder piracy

I mean, I would do the same in regards to a lot of laws. We really gotta pull a France, people.

There's an in-development app called Winston that is built around using your own API key. Check it out! (It does crash a lot, though, being in beta and all.)

TestFlight: https://testflight.apple.com/join/3UF8bAUN

Repo: https://github.com/Kinark/winston

Discord: https://discord.gg/Jw3Syb3nrz

https://movie-web.app/

A free and open source online web app for streaming content. They’re committed to no ads, pop ups, or other weird malicious stuff you’d see on other streaming sites. Binge a series or two!

Wait— this was posted 24 hours ago. Oh well.

If you don’t mind sideloading and refreshing the app from your PC every 7 days, I recommend (and use) uYou+ as a sideloaded app. It has PiP capabilities w/o needing premium, along with a built-in video downloader, sponsorblock, and adblock.

Link: https://github.com/qnblackcat/uYouPlus

The Enterprise and Millennium Falcon should put aside their differences and sloppy kiss, boobs pressed together, etc.