It's dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Aww

God, none of it matters. You'll always have one dickhead or another in office. Losing sleep over who is president is nuts to me. We're in dystopian times now. Just don't think about it

This is fascinating. How does she paint her art? Healing folks with my own secretions is for the birds. I still wouldn't want to become a giant snail

What happened to snail lady? Is she okay now? Is she still a snail? I don't want to become a snail

And for the nausea, have a few sips of pickle juice. I swear it works. It works so well for me, at least

Is this the Japanese banana fanna bo banna or something?

Lockpicking is a fun hobby

When I saw it, it was a mermaid and the male engineer guy was trying to save her. Am I in a Mandela effect right now?

I liked your story, if that means anything

Hey, cool. I never knew what to do with my sumac. I can't wait to try the eggs. Anymore sumac suggestions?

When would you not use two stages? Is it an option to leave the dirty soapy dishwasher on there?

Yes, thank you! That was my sentiment, exactly

A television screen you can turn on and off without the remote. A mobile phone that has buttons on the back. A magic stick that can send my husband to the cornfield when he won't leave me alone.

I can't remember

I would say, "It's green. Haven't you seen green before? You don't know what green is?"

Jeepers peepers

My cat goes out to get coffee and breakfast on the weekends. I think that's a little bit cooler than all of you guys' tricks

I'm pretty sure that's the default kitty behaviour

It's not even just drunk. I have bad anxiety and it's not usually worth it to hang out with people. I just always dwell on it and wonder how weird I seemed or something from the anxiety. It takes all the fun out of it

I was going to comment that I really liked the radishes on them. I'll do that next time

It's not really weird to want temporary bird aquarium windows in your house. That's ingenious. I think I'd love that

I think stay home and get drunk by yourself. It's the only way to guarantee you won't say something slightly embarrassing and then dwell on it for the next week

My husband's favourite is "I'm sorry you got upset."

Pleather or faux leather or whatever they call it. You have about a year or two before it starts rubbing off on everything you own. Sometimes you don't even realise you're buying it. I wish it didn't exist.

I have my husband's old work Lenovo and I love it

Sure. I never claimed to be special or anything.

I would get a really nice house with a big fancy kitchen and then continue being a hermit, except I'd do a lot more drugs

I love the one that has Christopher Walken zooming around the room
https://youtu.be/wCDIYvFmgW8

I wish we played with our VR headset more. We have had an occulus rift for years and have barely used it. I was really enjoying the new half-life game too. We just forget about it in our home

Hello, meat. How's it going?

I lived in an old broken down farm house growing up. I saw some weird things, such as an old knife-lady. However, I was a child, and therefore removed. I'm just an idiot.

My daddy says he saw her too, but he was probably just messing with me

Ten years later...

Welcome to the Carl's Junior, my frehn! Can I please ask you to do one thing, can you please click in the top right of drive thru menu? There should be a box there that is saying "run..."

Raccacoonie

I don't understand why people like going to those. I'd rather watch a film in my comfy home than go to a loud, gross theatre

It has come back. Say anything negative about MSG on Reddit and you'll be accused of being a racist. That said, msg is pretty great.

I would also recommend that if you know there is going to be kitty poop in front of the litter box then you should avoid standing in it

I think the taste can be somewhat prominent in Thai curries and soups at least

Whatever the heck lemongrass actually does, it sure tastes delicious