people think we didn't try talking first. telling them to fuck off, refuting their trash ideology or even trying to persuade them out of it. they loved that shit. they were there to talk but they were not there for any great debate. fuckers were there to recruit, it was preditory. they did not fuck off until it was clear we would make them, AND that we'd do it before they opened their mouths. they fucked off when the recruitment pool was closed to them.

guess i can see how on paper a bunch of kids living off pabst and shoving eachother around to loud music, was a good hunting ground. they read that particular room wrong though. and "punch them until they left" was they only way they were gonna go.

I wish you luck saving them. its been an interesting year.

make sure to remove any blooms before you spray if you havent used the stuff in the past. neem oil and every fungicide ive seen screw with reporoductive cycles of friend and foe alike. i say that as much for anyone else stumbling onto this thread.

alternating neem oil and "Bonide Captain Jack's Copper Fungicide". the fungicide was just the cheapest one i saw on amazon when it became clear neem oil wasnt gonna be enough this year. my 4b winter was weak, closer to 6a, so fungi have been going crazy. all the lilac leafs turned black and fell off in july across the whole region. like they decided to nope out of summer and start fall right away.

almoat lost a couple roses to that early this spring so i've been spraying obsessively. mildew seems to be under control so far.

there had been beans and corn in there early on. the pumpkins had other plans. they'd even made it onto the plum tree but a storm yanked them off last week.

the article ends on a pitch for an ai bot making your paid posts. it's trash. the article itself is the kind of lazy trash you get when you start leaning into monitization. you're right, the fediverse isnt a monolith, not even inside distinct cultural regions.

for me at least. the answer to more media like this article appearing. so we grow an have more content and grow more. will be finding somewhere else to be. thats just the social media cycle. something cool gets made. a community starts forming. someone says "look at those idiots. dont they know how money works? a few of them could be making so much of it. i'll show them how and make some myself too". the rough edges of the space get smoothed out because if you want to make the site sucessful it should look more like how the sucessful spaces look. and a bunch of people move on to make something new again while bots have arguments with bots.

because being excited about a new hobby isnt cool. actually starting a new hobby is an insult to all the people who'd been real fans of the hobby before you. this is the internet.

creators are welcome to post in the fediverse and tag their paid platform so long as they respect the rules of whatever community they post in. everyone has to eat. turning the fediverse into a tansactional platform is just coporate social media with extra steps. the articles getting downvoted because its one step shy of a linkedin ad disguised as a post. if i wanted to read posts about the beauty of the grind or some other nonsese, i'd be on fucking twitter or facebook. this place exists specifically to not be those places.

oh i had to go biological warfare on the masquito larve twice in the first three weeks before i add the duckweed and small solar fountains.

theres a little one in the back that creats a dorky waterfall to keep the water circulating. so far the duckweeds kept evaporation down and the toads keep the misquitoes in check.

couple beams to sit on and watch bees visit. the beams and the planter shade half the pond to help keep the temp down. so now i have a couple toads hanging out. the planter bottom slopes so water runs off the sides instead of into the pond. but i didnt get enough sand an rock in the bottom layer of it. so the soil in the planters been too wet for most things this season.

late diagnosed millenials are like the spiderman meme. finding out most of their close social circle was neurodivergent. not hard to predict self sorting like that. who wants to exhaust themselves trying to maintian connections with people who wont understand them and often get upset at being asked to try?

well damnit now i need that koolaid pitch in my life and my bank account is angry.

guys at work comlaining about their divorce to anyone entering an enclosed room. four different times when i was forced to work in an office and twice so far in slack. mother fucker i dont known you but i already get why she left. stop trying to force random people to be your therapist.

been using Darktable for years now. had the same trouble with it as people going photoshop to gimp have at first, because my brain was all in lightroom. once i sat down and watched some videos of people explaining their own darktable process and experimented new workflows. it became everything lightroom was, but without the constantly scolding me about bumping my subscription adobe did.

nazis learned alot from the klan and the jim crow era. for the purpose of brick throwing targets, they are the same.

The first 3-6 months are like vegas, anything you and your partner say or feel in this period are exhaustion enduced and get forgotten. Until the baby can smile and act like a tiny human you just endure. Once it smiles and sleeps for at least 4 hours your brain will give the good chemicals and you both start to forget this time.

Honestly theres some great advice in this thread about perspective already. So being only three weeks in, i have one useful piece of real advice. Thats not a functional human yet, it cant move under it's own power, it cant remember what happened 5 minutes ago. You can strap the infant in a car seat and walk the fuck away for five minutes. be in another room breathing. It can not follow you, it will not remember. Use this weakness against it while you can.

I'm in the same spot and 95% settled on moving to debian.

xubuntu has been good to me the last 10yrs. But its been about xfce, ubuntu got be part of the relationship because it was easy when i knew very little about linux. that and it can run well on a potato with a bunch of computer parts just duct taped randomly onto it. which is basically what my dumpster dived laptop was 10 yes ago.

thats just a short term fixes too though. the ads will get more intrusive and annoying. and at some point pro ads will just turning themselves back on. because this is a company and it wants to sell things.

cotton, wool, leather, modal and denim for me. found a tshirt i liked and just order 10 in the same color online when they wear out. same for jeans, socks, underwear and hoodies. rather dress like an npc than decide how annoying i'll accept my clothes being day to day. leather boots, havent owned sneakers in 15 yrs. leather jacket for cool weather. merino wool sweaters and a long heavy wool coat for thundersnow season.

modal beats out cotton sheets to me, but unblended cotton is still pretty comfy. layers of merino wool blankets. finally managed to get leather furniture this winter and my livingroom is usable even when im having a bad day.

also ereaders and stone paper. after gritting my teeth and feeling gross because everything is written on dry scratchy hateful paper. being able to read or just write down a quick note comfortably was kinda life changing.

"it's possible i buried a self delete timebomb in one of our repos years ago. enjoy looking for it just incase assholes"

was a bit of a running joke for years even before our son was diagnosted. but covid times offered the perfect period to hyper focus on researching his diagnosis. which led to reading all my old school records. finding all the vaugue language being used to dismiss my childhood behaviors that in his records, were used as the basis of a diagnosis. was an interesting "oh son of a removed!" moment.

At this point in my life, i only put effort into maintaining two friendships. Both of which are a couple decades old now. One is ND at the very least. The other was diagnost as autistic about six months ago, to absolutely no ones surprise. We really do tend to drift into our own little social circles of peace.

"yeah, no shit. i though you knew this already"

top right unless i'm working, they pay well enough for bottom right.

Clearly you've not yet read my book 'Angry Men Are A Myth: why everyone should stop telling me to get therapy'

Every copy comes with a discount code for 5% off a Thinking Mans Fedora!

Remeber kids, the best devil's advocates shop exclusively from NotAllMen LLC.

"Don't buy your son pink boots, thats a girl color." some rando in the store about the snow boots my happy 5yr old just picked out and is hugging. laughed and told my kid he could pick out a toy now too.

"Don't try so hard. they'll always love the mom more no matter what you do, so take it easy" my dad. yep.

"don't let your kid pick their own food" former friend without kids.

"don't let your kid argue with you, ever" different former friend with kids.

Yeah this right here. The cyber truck is just a status symbol. Like a v6 platinum f-150 crew cab sitting in a suburban driveway with an absolutely spotless bed. But for the very small well paid tech bro market.

My next truck will be electric because thats where the market will be in 15yrs. Electric is a good change, but it still needs to do truck things. Like move heavy crap and access lakes via what is basically the suggestion of a road. The cyber truck does neither of these tasks well.

Is the Ford vs Ram vs Chevy really still a thing? Cost had nothing to do with getting a Ram for me. It was simply the only brand that still offered a bench seat on more than an entry level work truck.

I've only ever found two real studies on topic of tactile processing issues. reading the descriptions of tactile defensiveness made me feel less crazy.

The neurological process of light touch and movement being miss communicated to include a fight or flight response. The stress to muscles and joints that goes with constantly supressing a low level fight or flight response.

I've found it helpful when explaining to people hoe it is for me at least. To ask them to describe their physical response to something like a jump scare, someone startles you from behind kinda thing. then i ask if lightly moving their own hand over their arm causes the same feeling at like 1/3 the intensisty. Sure they usually say something along "thats not real". But damnit i was at least able to explain the experiance.

these links shouldnt have paywalls. i can poke around for new links if they do.

https://www.jneurosci.org/content/37/27/6475

https://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1186%2F2040-2392-3-6

huh, i cant tell if that limitation is in the modern mac version either. eh, i dont recommened buying anti virus anyway. looking into a dns ad blocker like pihole is a good tactic as well. I got tired of my kid turning his windows system into threat to everything on my network. few public block lists on a pihole did more good than the windows anti virus.

Ok i'll answer the question asked first. if i absolutely had to put a consumer endpoint protection on one of my macs. i'd probably do clamxav again. that said.

after 15 yrs in enterprise apple device management, i still reccomend a solid remote backup solution at the consumer level instead. anyone who claims macs cant get viruses is kidding themselves, but honestly we dont bother attempting to clean infected macs. wipe and restore. put your money into protecting your data and for the love of all gods install the updates.

going crazy and jumping into the jamf consumer level ecosystem is an option as well. but way over the top unless you're really bored with money to burn.

Because this community is filled with dissapointments. Who think it's funny to equate women and dogs. Then brush off complaints with shit like "but the girls can save themselves! god why is comedy illegal now!?"

Don't worry about calling me out for being insulting by calling people dissapointments folks. I'm unsubbing. I cant with this place anymore.

Been hearing great things about SNW. I've kept that and Picard S3 back for now so I can do the whole trek run in the background while I dive into a new project at work. I'm almost done with S1 of TNG, gonna run that through Picard. Then jump back to ENT and catch up to SNW before jumping into late DSC. All 625hrs.

Enjoy your DS9 and VOY rewatches those are fun!

I fuckin love Discovery and none of ya can shame me for that. All this new era of trek fun as hell and im here for it. The abrams movies got my kid into trek because you know what, they are fun!

I pulled away from the trek fandom back in the Voyager days. Because I love that damn show. And I got tired of hearing how much better it would be if Janeway smiled more. I love the TNG era but it had some problems. The Yar arc happend people.

Trek is trek and it's all fantastic. Folks who can't be happy to enjoy all the new trek we've gotten are welcome to go back to grumply watching that original star wars trilogy shit. I'll be over here with the capacity for joy rewatching all of trek now.

First let me welcome you to the "hey wait that was autism!?" phase. It's a trip.

As this thread as a whole states, it depends on what value that diagnosis brings to your life. Weight against how much that diagnosis will cost you. Research autism for yourself and your kid, review your own history and talk with people who know you.

In my region of the US there is one licensed human doing adult diagnosis, on an 18 month waiting list for about $2k. He would also require a 4hr interview with at least one parent in addition to the 8hrs with me. At a time when my family was still angrily listing all the reasons my son's diagnosis was wrong. So my son has a diagnosis, i likely will never bother.

When i started asking close friends for thier opinion, most responded with "duh". I was not infact, as good at masking as i'd assumed. Though it's not an uncommon experiance to find a few people extremely attached to their own image of you. Those relationships tend to end poorly when you open up about your actual lived experiance. So be aware of that cost while you're exploring this. You'll likely be better for their absence but the process can still hurt. The end of one of my oldest and closes friendships resulted in me paying $600 for a full genome sequencing, followed by months of learning how to read the raw files from that. So i could understand the one genetic study thats been done on tactile defensiveness. Having the report put me in the 80th perentile for autism was kinda meh at that point, so i don't believe an offical diagnosis would do much for my piece of mind either. Finding the GABRB3 mutations identified in that tactile defensiveness study also in my genome though. Having that specific answer was worth the time and expense.

Like most people here, i'm a lot kinder to myself now that i have some understanding of how my brain proceses things. I let most of my masking fall away. And was shocked to discover most people don't go through life with every muscle in their body tensed up like they're constantly hearing nails on a chalk board.

About two years ago my set up had gotten out of control, as it will. Closet full of crap all running vms all poorly managed by chef. Different linux flavors everywhere.

Now its one big physical ubuntu box. Everything gets its own ubuntu VM. These days if I can't do it in shell scripts and xml I'm annoyed. Anything fancier than that i'd better be getting paid. I document in markdown as i go and rsync the important stuff from each VM to an external every night. Something goes wrong i just burn the vm, copy paste it back together in a new one from the mkdocs site. Then get on with my day.

At work my rules is to remove 50% of my words before anyone can see it. The later it gets, the worse my verbosity gets in text. This Hemingway editor does look interesting. I use simplewriter a lot, especially when I'm doing technical writing for mixed language audiences.

Trying to see the best in it right now. This platform feel more like the old forums I grew up in and miss, so I’m informing my brain it’s simply a return to previous routines. Apollo was the only thing making Reddit usable the past several years. When it goes, so does my Reddit account. Very happy to find this space. I know there’s been talk of moving to discord from some communities but i just can't enjoy the instant communication those platforms are built on.

Can see my reflection making that exact face. As I come to terms with the reality that I can't just lurk if I want this community to succeed here. And after 20 minutes this is all my brain would produce...