asklemmy Ask Lemmy To the girls here: what action or social behaviour/etiquette you think you can get away doing/not doing that you couldn't if you were a man?
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  • erev erev 1 day ago 91%

    hey, amab masc nb person here, i appreciated your write up, thought it was interesting, and cared.

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  • lemmyshitpost Lemmy Shitpost This should be the right address....
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  • erev erev 1 day ago 100%

    I would actually love a portal miniseries like this

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  • usauthoritarianism US Authoritarianism It’s What You’re Doing Right Now
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  • erev erev 2 days ago 100%

    A human life can be both terribly long and tragically short. But our lifespans are fairly insignificant to the wheels of time.

    That being said, we can and should do better.

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  • memes Memes Schrödinger's Immigrant
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  • erev erev 2 days ago 93%

    I mean i definitely do in a sense of the word

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  • erev erev 1 week ago 100%

    We have no right to judge intelligence purely through our perception of intelligence, rather we must seek to broaden our understanding and view of intelligence and sapience. Yes there aren't any other species that are sapient like humans, but then there are very very few species that are like humans. Dolphins and other aquatic mammals are known to have complex social structures and languages, and are very evidently self aware and able to comprehend themselves and their existence. Are we to deny their sapience simply because they don't have economies of scale or what we perceive as civilization? I would argue that dolphins, elephants, whales, and some birds have formed (by our standards) rudimentary civilizations that are practical and necessary for their survival.

    If we expand the concept, i would argue that similar things could be said about insects/bugs if we aggregate the intelligence. Ants have colonized every continent except for Antarctica. They have complex social structures and very clear markers of civilization. The only difference is that they function as a collective rather than as an individual. Are we to say that the Borg are not sapient because their civilization is predicated on the collective rather than the individual? The biggest thing I would have against calling ants sapient is that I am unsure of how self aware the collective is, but is that a necessity for sapience? To what degree is it necessary? Are we basing this off of a model of ourselves, of which only we fit into? Do we even have the right to demarcate what is and isn't intelligent, sentient, and/or sapient? I would posit no to a lot of these questions, especially given that I also think we are a lot less intelligent and sapient than we think we are. I don't believe a truly intelligent and sapient being would judge the intelligence and sapience of another being, but simply accept that it is as it is.

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  • linuxmemes linuxmemes I like both, but usually prefer Ubuntu
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  • erev erev 1 week ago 93%

    Snaps are a closed-source proprietary packaging format that Canonical controls. And they have also altered apt on Ubuntu to download snaps first before native packages. You may be using snaps right now without realizing it, which is also part of the issue.

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  • erev erev 1 week ago 100%

    i would absolutely say there are other sapient species, we just don't like to think of them as such. Obviously a lot of aquatic mammals come to mind, but I think there's a very very good case to argue that cephalopods, elephants, some aquatic mammals, and some birds are sapient. Especially by sci-fi rules. I think there's sufficient evidence to show that elephants, dolphins, and maybe corvids or cephalopods would pass the trial of Commander Data and be considered intelligent and sapient life.

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  • erev erev 1 week ago 100%

    I think that a separate free market that is isolated from the necessities of life can help fulfill human ambition, but there need not be scarcity of the necessities of life.

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  • erev erev 1 week ago 100%

    or a system and culture that isn't predicated on a fear of artificial scarcity

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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 83%

    I prefer multiple systems of scale based on mutual aid, where all shared institutions and resources are collectively owned and managed by the people working in those institutions without the obligation of profit. Then those institutions would cooperate to form larger scale systems that can form the complex widespread support for our technologically advanced society without having to be centrally managed or owned. Necessarily, but not ideally, there would be a limited free market that is completely isolated from the actual organizational structure (no lobbying, no private ownership of necessities, etc.) to allow interaction with non-collectivist states and entities.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy What is something you SHOULD cheap out on?
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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 100%

    That's very true and I'd argue more an issue of our regulation (or lack thereof) of both drugs and medication.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy What is something you SHOULD cheap out on?
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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 100%

    Decongestants are a weird one. Pseudoephedrine is available but is behind the pharmacy counter where most people don't realize they can get it. Pretty much every other nasal decongestant has been replaced by phenylephrine which is extremely ineffective. Both the generic cold/sinus meds and sudafed PE will be most likely be phenylephrine, and you might as well not waste your money at that point. Actual pseudoephedrine (sudafed or a generic if they make it) will help.

    Reminder, I am not a doctor, pharmacist, or healthcare worker. I'm just a rando on the internet who has heard a lot about this.

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  • trees Trees I bought a 1 gram joint for this wedding but didn’t end up needing it!
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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 100%

    Diamonds are a form of concentrate. In my experience they're usually THCA, which degrades into ∆9 THC when heated, but they're definitely some strong stuff.

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions I think I am socially ostrasized, what should I do?
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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 100%

    have you tried talking to someone after or before class?

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions Why is it that rhyming words seems to be pleasant/melodious to hear in rap/poetry??
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  • erev erev 2 weeks ago 100%

    this sounds made up but i currently do not care enough to look into it so i shall take you at your word

    i hope you have not misinformed me but if you have i shall do nothing except continue to nap

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions How do people in this day in age become nazis/neonazies sexist or even incels when there is so much knowledge against it? Do they get anything out of being that way?
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  • erev erev 4 weeks ago 100%

    As I've continued through life, my political and economic ideology has shifted a lot from Marxism and Marx-derived ideologies into a personal interpretation of collectivism that basically is just, "how can we make everything mutual aid?"

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions How Do You Explain to a Fully Grown Adult That Constantly Mocking Others' Appearance (Even on TV) is Toxic Behavior?
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  • erev erev 1 month ago 100%

    based

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  • memes Memes Firefox + Ublock = 👑
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  • erev erev 1 month ago 100%

    is that chromium?

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy What do people's pets tell you about them?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I think the main issue with outdoor cats isn't even the danger posed to the cats; it's the danger the cats pose to everything else. Numerous species — especially birds — have gone extinct specifically because of cats. It's one thing to have a barn cat or mouser, but cats wreak havoc on ecosystems. And iirc, indoor cats have a lot longer life expectancy than outdoor cats. I understand wanting to give freedom to our furry friends, but cats hunt for fun and are basically murderous little fluffballs to anything smaller or similar size than them.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Computer nerds of Lemmy, do you also enjoy comparing natural systems to large codebases in programming? What are your favorite peculiar similarities?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    i like this assertion

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  • memes Memes Political mindset evolution
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 40%

    According to DuckDuckGo

    State Capitalism: An economic system that is primarily capitalistic but there is some degree of government ownership of the means of production.

    Basically capitalism managed and owned by the state. This is not communism, nor even socialism. China is communist in name only.

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  • memes Memes Political mindset evolution
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 25%

    It's state capitalism with a veneer of communism.

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  • memes Memes Political mindset evolution
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I live in a place that was known for its (less than Minnesota) horrible Winter, and growing up I remember blizzards and at least a foot of snow each Winter.

    My city doesn't have Winter anymore really. We don't have snow either. I miss the Winter.

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  • lemmyshitpost Lemmy Shitpost Look you've just to got read the prologue that was a limited edition IHOP giveaway in 2015 and the story is awesome
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I disagree. There's a YouTube video essay series that breaks down the timelines and I really like their interpretation. Each Eva is the story Anno wanted to tell at each point in his life, as he grew and became a healthier person. Anno wanted the darkness when he was younger. Anno wanted the hope as he got older. I've watched all the Evas and I think I actually like the rebuilds more.

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted What do you prefer to selfhost?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I just haven't gotten around to setting it up is all.

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  • news News 'Zionist-free zone': Israelis are increasingly unwanted at global tourism sites
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 94%

    A lot of Israelis are forced to fight in the IDF. They have mandatory service. A large amount, if not a majority, of Israelis have participated in the occupation and ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people.

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted What do you prefer to selfhost?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I am also trying to degoogle/debigdata my life, but it seems we're taking radically different approaches to it. I wish you luck in your journey!

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted What do you prefer to selfhost?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I set up a mail stack on Rocky Linux with Postfix, Dovecot, and rspamd. I don't need a database because it's all LDAP on the backend, and I don't have webmail setup right now because I'm lazy. It's a bit of a hassle to get up and running well but it's pretty solid and I'm careful about managing my domain reputation so I don't have any issues with my mail being delivered.

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    Selfhosted erev 2 months ago 99%
    What do you prefer to selfhost?

    I've been around selfhosting most of my life and have seen a variety of different setups and reasons for selfhosting. For myself, I don't really self host as mant services for myself as I do infrastructure. I like to build out the things that are usually invisible to people. I host some stuff that's relatively visible, but most of my time is spent building an over engineered backbone for all the services I could theoretically host. For instance, full domain authentication and oversight with kerberized network storage, and both internal and public DNS. The actual services I host? Mail and vaultwarden, with a few (i.e. < 3) more to come. I absolutely do not need the level of infrastructure I need, but I honestly prefer that to the majority of possible things I could host. That's the fun stuff to me; the meat and potatoes. But I know some people do focus more on the actual useful services they can host, or on achieving specific things with their self hosting. What types of things do you host and why?

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    nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions If everyone is fired by AI, who's going to buy the products and services made by the companies if no one has money anymore?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    i don't think prices will shoot up, it's just the wealthiest will have accumulated the absolute most amount of wealth they possibly could. Everything would crash but they would own everything. That's of course if AI can fully replace us and produce everything that humanity needs practically forever but behind a paywall.

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  • nostupidquestions No Stupid Questions brewing tea with space vacuum?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    It really depends for oolongs. High oxidation oolongs will do well with hotter water, such as yancha oolongs. But some are a lot greener and more temperamental, such as Anxi oolongs.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Tech support workers, what are your favorite stories from your time in the industry?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    My friend recently introduced the concept of the machine spirit to me; the idea that all computers and machines have spirits and that the more complex and complicated the machine and software, the higher the level of technomage required to submit it. Most computers and desktops have low machine spirits so people with basic knowledge can make it work, but machines with purpose or that are complicated require high level technomages to operate. I think about that sometimes when I can fix my friends stuff in minutes but my machine will have issues that take days or weeks to fix.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy Tech support workers, what are your favorite stories from your time in the industry?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    He was a carpenter after all

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  • lemmyshitpost Lemmy Shitpost Get in the Hilux
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 25%

    thats just gonna create a different owning class and continue the cycle. change would be removing the idea of class altogether.

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  • lemmyshitpost Lemmy Shitpost Get in the Hilux
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 57%

    But then we still live under the same corrupt system and nothing fundamentally changes except us offsetting our issues onto future generations. Continuing to find ways to prop up Capitalism and make it liveable doesn't actually fix a ton, it just shifts the burden from us onto our children. That's why we're in the shit as much as we are globally right now, and our kids will be drowning in it if we don't act.

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted Recommended containerized CardDAV/CalDAV solution?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I have NFS shares from my ZFS pools on Proxmox

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted Recommended containerized CardDAV/CalDAV solution?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    This is really helpful, thank you!

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  • selfhosted Selfhosted Recommended containerized CardDAV/CalDAV solution?
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  • erev erev 2 months ago 100%

    I'm mainly concerned about auth with this one, it seems a little too barebones for my use case. Thanks for the suggestion though!

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  • selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 2 months ago 100%
    Recommended containerized CardDAV/CalDAV solution?

    Hello! I am migrating some services from an old cloud instance to my homelab. The cloud instance was running NextCloud and as I don't really need the entirety of NextCloud, I'm moving to individual services. It's now time for me to move the most important thing from this NextCloud instance: my calendars and contacts. I'm looking for a good containerized service to run this. I've taken a look at both Baikal and Davis, but both seem to have issues running rootless. As I have Kerberos throughout my network and am storing the persistent volumes on an NFS share, I prefer to run all my containers under dedicated service accounts. This also means that I would like the DAV server to have LDAP or IMAP authentication. I am also using podman quadlets rather than docker compose, but I can figure out the translation on my own. Worst case scenario here is I just run Davis and talk to the dev about the issues I have (which will probably be done anyways), but I'd like to get something up and running sooner rather than later. Any solutions would be greatly helpful. If there isn't a good containerized solution, I'm also willing to make an LXC or VM but I'd prefer to stick to containers. Thank you!

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    lemmyshitpost Lemmy Shitpost Nuclear launch detected...
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  • erev erev 3 months ago 100%

    space might not cool it down because the only real way for it to lose the heat would be blackbody radiation. by now it's probably cooled off but without any atmosphere or other materials to cool it off, it probably stayed hot for a while

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy I love the absurdity of Farscape, but I do not accept the absurdity of Doctor Who. I will die on this hill. I do not understand the absurdity of Doctor Who. Why am I wrong?
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  • erev erev 3 months ago 100%

    I loved Capaldi. Hes my favorite Doctor. I missed the premier of the Chibnall era so I was just gonna wait until the entire season released so I could binge it, but then I heard the reviews and stopped watching for a few years. I need to return to it now though.

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  • asklemmy Ask Lemmy I love the absurdity of Farscape, but I do not accept the absurdity of Doctor Who. I will die on this hill. I do not understand the absurdity of Doctor Who. Why am I wrong?
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  • erev erev 3 months ago 100%

    I'm unsure personally, but a lot of the blame definitely falls at the feet of Chibnall. I hope that when i watch the newer stuff I'll be more impressed.

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  • selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 3 months ago 83%
    FreeIPA & Proxmox - DNS selectively doesn't work

    So this is an interesting one I can't figure out myself. I have Proxmox on a PowerEdge R730 with 5 NICs (4 + management). The management interface is doing its own thing so don't worry about that. Currently I have all 4 other interfaces bonded and bridged to a single IP. This IP is for my internal network (192.168.1.0/24, VLAN 1). This has been working great. I have no issues with any containers on this network. One of those containers happens to be one of two FreeIPA replicas, the other living in the cloud. I have had no issues using DNS or anything else for FreeIPA from this internal network nor from my cloud network or VPN networks. Now, I finally have some stuff I want to toss in my DMZ network (192.168.5.0/24, VLAN 5) and so I'll just use my nice R730 to do so, right? Nope! I can get internet, I can even use the DNS server normally, but the second I go near my FreeIPA domains it all falls apart. For instance, I can get the records for example.local just fine, but the second i request ipa.example.local or ds.ipa.example.local, i get EDE 22: No Reachable Authority. This is despite the server that's being requested from being the authority for this zone. I can query the same internal DNS server from either the same internal network or a different network and it works handy dandy, but not from the R730 on another network. I can't even see the NS glue records on my public DNS root server. I'm honestly not sure why everything *except* these FreeIPA domains works. Yes, I have the firewall open for it and I have added a `trusted_networks` ACL to Bind and allowed queries, recursion, and query_cache for this ACL. The fact it only breaks on these FreeIPA subdomains makes me think it's a forwarding issue, but shouldn't it see the NS records and keep going? It can ping all the addresses that might come up from DNS, it's showing the same SOA when I query the root domain, it just refuses to work from my IPA domains. Can someone provide any insight on this please, I'm sick and tired of trying to debug it.

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    trees
    Trees erev 4 months ago 93%
    Would a vacuum extraction affect a QWISO solution?

    Basically title. If I make a quick wash isopropyl alcohol (QWISO) solution, would a vacuum extraction have a meaningful effect on the resulting concentrate? I'm doubt it would have a meaningful impact in terms of flavor and terpene content, but I can see it producing an interesting consistency. The only way I could see it affecting flavor would be if the low pressure caused some volatiles to change, but I kinda doubt that. For the vacuum extraction I would probably just put it in a vacuum chamber.

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    bleach
    Bleach erev 4 months ago 80%
    26 episodes away from finishing my first watch through of the original series

    I watched Bleach years ago on Amazon Prime when i was a kid. Prime only had up to the beginning of the Bounts arc at that time, so I never finished it. I recently found it on Hulu and am watching it all the way through, filler and all. I'm about to begin the final arc and I wanted to share my thoughts. First, I disagree that things went downhill after the SS arc. For me, the show temporarily jumped the shark after the Grimmjow fight. Everything before that was honestly kinda great. I didn't even realize the Bount arc was filler. It was slow at the start but I really enjoyed it by the end. The Captain Amagai arc was interesting but it killed the pacing. The Zanpakuto Rebellion arc was really good at first but I kinda hated it by the end because of how cheap the show felt. The second half of the arrancar saga started mid-decent in my opinion, and was great by the end. And the Invading Army arc was so good I wish it was canon. Personally, the show got really really bad in-between the Grimmjow fight and the actual Ulquiorra fight. Everything else has been incredible. I'm sure if I didn't watch the filler, or watched it afterwards that I would enjoy it a lot more. Although I don't see how I can fully watch the middle filler without breaking continuity, as Uryu has his more advanced Quincy weapon but Ichigo will lose his powers by the end of the Arrancar arc. Either way, I'm excited to finish the series and start the new one. Eventually I may watch the movies.

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    nostupidquestions
    No Stupid Questions erev 4 months ago 65%
    Could I get an autopsy done on myself while I'm alive?

    Completely random stoned hypothetical. Lets day im old as fuck and I decide I'm ready and done. Could I have the same postmortem autopsy done on me while I'm still alive? Like give me a ton of drugs and let me watch myself get dissected as my final moments. I understand there is a legal and possibly moral concern, but is it really ethically that bad if I also want it? Like I'm not taking myself out at my prime, I'm nearly dead anyways. Lemme see myself cut apart that'd be cool as shit, only if I couldn't feel any pain though.

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    selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 5 months ago 100%
    Good file servers for Proxmox?

    Hello! I have Proxmox VE running on a Dell R730 with an H730. Proxmox manages the disks in a ZFS RAID which is exactly how I want it. Because I intend for this server to have a NAS/file server, I want to set up a container or VM in proxmox that will provide network storage shares to domain-joined systems. Pretty much everything in my lab is joined to FreeIPA, so I'd like to use the IdM features with my file server. I have given TKL FileServer a shot but it really didn't seem up to snuff with what I wanted. I am not looking for a NAS solution that will require me to pass through the RAID controller and disks to Proxmox, as I want Proxmox managing the ZFS pool. I can set up an NFS/Samba server in a container, however in trying to do so I was running into issues (due to it being an unprivileged container) that I can probably figure out but I want to see if anyone has any recommendations first.

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    asklemmy
    Ask Lemmy erev 5 months ago 94%
    What's a common occurrence in your hobby that you think shouldn't be?

    For me it's driving while under the influence. If you couldn't tell, I like me some ganja. However I have long since held the belief that it is utterly insane to drive while under the influence of most substances, with maybe nicotine and caffeine being the exception. All too often I see other stoners smoking and driving, which I simply can't fathom. I've only operated a vehicle once under the influence and it was just to move a U-Haul around the block to a different parking spot, which was such a scary experience while high that I refuse to even consider getting behind the wheel again while high.

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    linuxmemes
    linuxmemes erev 6 months ago 98%
    Well I guess it's my turn now

    See previous post and the comments in this link for context. https://aur.archlinux.org/packages/util-linux-selinux

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    linuxmemes
    linuxmemes erev 6 months ago 96%
    Genuinely the only time Arch has broken something I can't fix myself

    Context: A few days ago Arch pushed out a legitimately broken update. This was because they shipped out a testing version of util-linux. They very quickly fixed this... except I use SE Linux (say what you will I wanted to dive into it) and now I'm stuck waiting for the maintainer to update the AUR package so I can fix my system. This is not a general arch problem but a me problem because of my less standard, more niche build. Although the wait is genuinely making me reconsider using SE Linux as it's been a hassle to maintain (just to keep things up to date, I gave up on keeping it in enforcing mode).

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    selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 6 months ago 100%
    What is a good multirole server setup for a racked server?

    I recently purchased a Dell PowerEdge R730 at a killer price, and intend it to be the cornerstone of my home lab. I plan to use it as both a NAS and a container server so I can set up whatever I want with it. I'm a bit unsure of what a good setup here looks like, so I'm hoping for a bit of guidance. As my R730 has 16 drive bays, I intend for 10 of those to be high capacity HDDs for the NAS with the remaining spots for SSDs for the containers. The R730 will also have a PERC H730 RAID controller. I want a full featured NAS solution (although I am open to more lightweight solutions) so my go to thought is TrueNAS. My plan was to install Proxmox and run TrueNAS on top of it, but I am unsure if this is the best method. Does anyone have any insight on how well this works or if there's a cleaner solution? Addendum: Anyone have any recommendations for RAID setups? I currently have 4x900 GB 10k SAS Dell Enterprise drives but I intend to bump that up to 10x900 GB over time. I'd like to be able to add these without much hassle, but I'm unsure what to go with. It seems that ZFS can handle it well alone, but I don't want to have gotten the good raid controller for nothing so I'm wondering if using ZFS with the RAID controller in HBA mode will be more worth it than a dedicated RAID setup. And if I'm using a RAID setup, should I go RAID or unRAID? If I go RAID, is RAID 01, 10, or 60 a better option here? Based on my research, it sounds like I'll need a lot more drives for a proper RAID setup and it'll be less flexible, but I would like some second opinions.

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    risa
    Risa erev 8 months ago 93%
    AIBI For throwing away my human coworker's lunch?

    Hello, I work with numerous humans. Navigating their emotionality is quite haphazardous at times, and today I have seemingly transgressed on my colleague "Mike". I have observed for numerous months that Mike appeared to be attempting a science experiment of sorts. It was a lacto-bacilli fermentation but I was unsure to what end. Mike had repurposed many parts of his meals and placed them into a sealed container to make something called "Kombucha". I am familiar with many fermented human foods, however I was unsure that Mike would achieve a favorable result. When asked why he didn't use the replicator for his "kombucha", he said it's not the same. I am still attempting to understand his logic as it quite literally would be the same. Nevertheless, I have kept a careful eye on the fermentation, and as it's entered it's third month I noticed signs of bacterial and fungal contamination. Believing the dish to be clearly compromised, I safely discarded of it with the proper biohazard precautions. However, Mike is now irate, saying I ruined his lunch and that he likes it, "chunky but soft". I do not follow his logic. AIBI? Edit: I see now I was being illogical. I should have thrown away both the "kombucha" and Mike.

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    nostupidquestions
    No Stupid Questions erev 8 months ago 90%
    How do I get over my ex?

    Posting this here because I'm unsure of where else to post something like this. Over two years ago at this point I mutually ended a nearly year long relationship with someone I was still in love with. We were graduating high school and while still going to colleges in the same city, realized we were in over our heads and were in an unhealthy situation so we split it off. It destroyed me. It took me a year to get my shit together (I went on a minor drug-binge for about 3 months after and spent probably $6k from eating out and making sure I always had enough bud) but I eventually met my current partner. Things aren't perfect in our relationship but I genuinely love her and we work to further strengthen our relationship. I don't know that I see the rest of my life with her, but we've been together over a year now and I don't have any intention of ending things anytime soon. We also live together so making it work is more of a necessity lol. But I can't get my ex out of my head. I've spent nearly every day for the last two years trying to let go of her but I don't know why she keeps popping into my thoughts. I don't love her, I don't want to be with her, I don't want her in my life. And ahe isn't, but I'm still dealing with this. I do have a therapist who I've talked at length with about this but I don't know, something about her just is stuck in my head. Maybe I preferred sex with her? I doubt it but she did kinda define what I consider my "type", so maybe it's just she's more unromantically attractive to me? But it feels so much deeper than that. If it were those shallows reasons I feel like it would've been easier to debug and diagnose. She was my best friend. One day she was in my life, the next day not. It feels like a very specifically sized puzzle piece is missing and now there's a small hole in the puzzle. I don't know, it's kinda maddening. I don't have most social media, so it's easier to avoid her online and not think about her. But occasionally I find myself borderline stalking her, except it's just me gathering random information I already know from OSINT tools with no intention or idea on how to utilize it (I'm well aware of how to use OSINT data, I mean in this specific situation). Part of it just feels like someone really important to me was rapidly removed from my life and I yearn to reconnect with them, but I guess I fear what such an endeavor might reawaken in me. I don't love her, at least I don't think I do. If I do it would be monumentally fucked up and I would feel like I'm emotionally cheating on my partner, who is somewhat aware of this issue but thinks I have it figured out (I thought I did too; I'm not knowingly lying to my partner). I don't know, I sent them a proper goodbye email a few months ago and thought that was that but it's clearly not. And I've put so much time and effort into trying to wrap it up for myself but now it feels like I'm just lost and stuck. Part of me just wants to reach out and ask if we can get a cup of coffee, but the other part of me recognizes the red flags in that immediately. I just want to be done with this. I want my brain to get it through itself thar it's over. It's been over. There's no changing the past, and if I could, I don't think I would've reached the point where I am in life with my current opportunities if we had stayed together. Part of why we broke up was because as I was learning how to sell pot (which I was never very good at), I became a massive stoner (which I am very good at). She wasn't anti-weed but didn't appreciate it. When eventually saw that us growing apart was hurting each other and decided to leave things behind. Being young and dumb, I didn't handle the breakup well. I didn't do anything bad or harmful to her or anyone else, but it was obvious to both of us that I wasn't okay afterwards. When I feel like I needed her the most, she was gone from my life. In doing so she broke our promise of prioritizing our friendship over the relationship. I don't really know. I understand a lot of the reasons why I'm hurt and some are justified some are not. I understand the role I played and the responsibility I had in hoe things ended. I was not a great partner in a lot of instances, and neither was she. But part of me wonders if we had met now what it would be like. But I wouldn't have been who I am now without her and without being without her. I'm just so fucking unsure man. I'm sorry if this is really rambly. I expect that the majority of answers will probably be to just get over it already, which I'm trying to do. I just don't feel like it's the right thing to ask to see her again, because that feels like an eventual mistake rather than closure. Idk, tell me I'm an idiot or an asshole to my current partner or something. I just want to be done with dealing with the legacy of a long-dead relationship. TL;DR: Mutually ended a significant relationship when I wasn't ready. Been kinda fucked since. Want to not be fucked so I can be a better partner. I suck for this. Edit: Thank you to everyone who has commented thus far. A lot of the discussion has been really helpful and I've got some new leads on how to debug this issue. I'm trying to respond to everyone and I can't express how appreciative I am.

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    selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 9 months ago 81%
    Wireguard on Unifi Dream Machine Pro can't ping Server &lt;-> Client https://lemmy.world/post/9845821

    Cross Posted from one of the Ubiquiti communities

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearWI
    WireGuard erev 9 months ago 100%
    Wireguard on Unifi Dream Machine Pro cannot ping Server &lt;-> Client https://lemmy.world/post/9845821
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    ubiquiti
    Ubiquiti erev 9 months ago 100%
    [UDMP] Wireguard doesn't allow Server &lt;-> Client pings

    So I have two sites: my home network and my cloud VPSs. I have setup a FreeIPA domain that I would like to use for all my machines, local and remote. While I wait for Linode/Akamai to add their new VPC feature, I want to create Wireguard tunnels from each VPS to my home network with my UDMP as the router. I tried to set it up through the UI, however I can't ping to/from the server wireguard interface when connected. So I tried to set it up with `wg-quick` but alas that isn't working either. I have the firewall port for wireguard open with both Internet In and Internet Local. I'm not even trying to get LAN access yet because I can't even ping over the tunnel. This has seriously frustrated me and I need to see if I'm just majorly fucking up or if I'm sane afterall and the UDMP just isn't good for Wireguard. Server conf: ``` [Interface] Address = 192.168.84.1/24 ListenPort = 51820 PrivateKey = [server private key] [Peer] PublicKey = [client public key] AllowedIps = 192.168.84.20/32 ``` Client conf: ``` [Interface] Address = 192.168.84.20/24 PrivateKey = [client private key] [Peer] PublicKey = [server public key] Endpoint = [server hostname]:51820 AllowedIPs = 192.168.84.1/32 ``` I had PostUp and PostDown rules set, but they didn't seem to make a difference. It seems they're mostly for configuring routing with iptables. Can I please get a sanity check here? Edit: It was dns. It's always dns. Apparently the UDM Pro doesn't like IPv6 for Wireguard (and supposedly a lot) and the domain name I was using for my home network was double stack. I tested against it's current IP address and when that worked I made a subdomain that was IPv4 only and it's working great now.

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    selfhosted
    Selfhosted erev 10 months ago 75%
    How do I use existing SSL certs with a FreeIPA installation?

    I have an existing website that I use for all sorts of things. I was a bit more of a sucker when I bought the domain so I also bought a wildcard SSL cert for my domain instead of using LetsEncrypt. I use the `home` subdomain to link back to my home network where I'm in the process of setting up a FreeIPA domain. In order to make sure the SSSD works properly, I read that I need to LDAPS, and for that I'll need some certs. I know FreeIPA generates its own certs, but these are self signed. I'd like to have my certs actually be trusted as theres a reason this is on an actual domain. However when i try to add my certs with `sudo ipa-cacert-manage -t 'C,,' CERT_BUNDLE` I get an issue with one of the certs (I know which one) for using an insecure algorithm. And (expectedly) I can't add the other certs as this is part of the CA chain. So I read to try renewing with the `external-ca` option, and now I have a CSR from FreeIPA but I'm unsure if I can sign it with my SSL cert. Any guidance or help is vert much appreciated. I may have buggered my install in trying to figure this out, but I suppose we'll find out. Update: It looks like I wasn't doing anything wrong; the root CA cert is SHA1 signed which seems to be my issue. I'm setting up everything with lets encrypt going forward and won't be buying a cert again unless i genuinely have a reason to.

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    boostforlemmy
    Boost For Lemmy erev 12 months ago 93%
    Thank you to Ruben

    Boost was my chosen Reddit client. I loved it and missed it when I had to move. I've since been using Thunder styled to exactly what my Boost config was, but I'm extremely glad to see Boost is back. There are a few things to get used to again, but I'm extremely happy to be here. Ruben, if you see this, could you make it so images can expand in the feed when clicked? Maybe it's because I'm using the dense view, but I do miss that bit. Otherwise, everything is fantastic! Thank you so much!

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    nostupidquestions
    No Stupid Questions erev 1 year ago 86%
    Why do we call ourselves lemmings when lemmons is such a better name?

    I'm a lemmon you're a lemmon we're all lemmons.

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    thunder_app
    Thunder App erev 1 year ago 100%
    Some feature requests, thoughts, and thanks!

    I want to preface this by saying this is my favorite Lemmy app and I'm extremely grateful to darklightxi for being such a 10x. These are just some things I'm sure many other people have said that I'm hoping to see in the future. I think the breakneck development speed is absolutely incredible as it is! * Downloading Images (afaik in progress) * Ability to view profiles (I've also heard in progress) * Edit comments (and posts, haven't trued that yet * Ability to see all subscriptions * Ability to remove accounts (i may just be dumb) * More advanced search (not really necessary until profile viewing changed imo) Thank you again to the developer! I really hope this post doesn't come off as ungrateful for the incredible work you're doing. I'll check out the GH and see if i have the ability to help with any of these.

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