Hedoking
6 months ago
•
100%
I feel the same with Cyberpunk Edgerunners. It just feels more natural somehow
Hedoking
7 months ago
•
100%
peak fiction
Lemmy Shitpost
Think outside the Box
Hedoking
7 months ago
•
100%
I made the box better 😎
Lemmy Shitpost
A And B
Hedoking
7 months ago
•
100%
My stepbrother did this once. He kept saying his throat was dry and we found the empty lamp a week later. After rushing him to the hospital to treat his near-fatal injuries, we were saying our goodbyes only two months later...
"Can I get you any thing?", my heartbroken mother said as she stepped into the room.
"Yeah... I'd lava another lamp..."
Thoroughly disgusted, the rest of our family shuffled out of the room muttering bye. I stayed, as I could take a joke. Suddenly, a monstrous shart leaked out of his ass. "Oh God!!! NURSE" I screamed frantically. "Good Lord," she gasped while grasping several bedpans. "He should be dead!" "Auuughooohyeh" My stepbro moaned. I looked on in horror as the red ass ham began to burn away and melt his gown and the now 30ish bedpans lining the walls. The poop accelerates. "Somebody get Dr. Kruger!!!" The many nurses exclaimed. At this point they were frantically shoveling shit out the window as I desperately tried not to get burned. After around 10 minutes, Dr. Kruger arrived. "GREAT HEAVENS!!! We'll need Kevin for this." He waded into the dookie and tossed my stepbrother into pit dug into ground. The poop accelerates. Suddenly, a wiry, greasy, crazed looking man appeared at the door. At this point, the floor was disintegrating, so he leaped over the many holes and started devouring the kaka. "HOLY HELL," I shouted in surprise. "Actual Zombie" I began to lose feeling in my legs. However, Kevin vrrmed like a anteater and sucked that shit up harder than 10 year old me getting hit by a Ferrari! Kevin leaped out of the room and slurped up all the poo poo in the ditch. But... something was wrong. The poop accelerates. Kevin didn't stop. Kevin crawled into my stepbrothers anus and licked it clean. Before he could reach his colon, somebody said "call the exorcist!" and the Poope himself came down from the heavens and uttered three holy words...
"no u"
Kevin's body is forcibly expelled from my stepbrothers colon and writhes in pain. He began to slowly and excruciatingly crawl into his own anus. The legion of nurses surrounding him pick him up and toss him- no it, into a coffin. My stepbrother staggered to his feet and exclaimed "What a nice shit! I feel great now!" and left. Fortunately we live in Europe so we didn't have to pay for anything. All the feeling returned to my legs, my stepbrother is taking care of his 13 kids, and Kevin is probably chilling in some SCP containment unit somewhere. Good times!
memes
No Stupid Questions
I like women but I also like cock but I'm not otherwise attracted to the male body at all. Wtf is my sexual orientation? AITA?
Lemmy Shitpost
This is literally me, I eat this shit every day
Hedoking
7 months ago
•
100%
COOL BUGS FACTS!!!
Fact 1#: Stick bugs can reproduce asexually through a process called parthenogenesis. In some species, female stick bugs are able to lay eggs without mating with a male, resulting in offspring that are genetic clones of the mother.
i have addiction but it so yummy 😋 😋 😋
Hedoking
7 months ago
•
100%
NTA. Your bra, your rules
O-oh, suwwe!? OwO the 🤘🤣 x3 edo *sees bulge* pewiod in japan 🎑 was a weawwy x3 i-intewesting 😊 time, 🕡 uwu. It wasted fwom 1603 UwU t-to 1868, owo, and i-it 😀 was a time 🕜 of wewative peace ✌️ and stabiwity uwndew the 🤣 x3 wuwwe of the 🫵🫵🫵 x3 tokuwgawa shoguwnyate, x3 uwu. Hewe awe some majow events 🎫 and devewopments: estabwishment of the 🤘 x3 tokuwgawa shoguwnate: in 1603, ^w^ tokuwgawa ieyasuw b-became the 🤣 x3 shoguwn and estabwished his 👋 guvwnment in edo *sees bulge* (modewn-day tokyo), owo. This mawked ^w^ the 🫵 x3 beginnying ;;w;; of the 🤘 x3 edo *sees bulge* pewiod. sakokuw *notices buldge* powicy: the 🤣🫵 x3 tokuwgawa shoguwnyate impwemented UwU a powicy *screams* of sakokuw, ow (・`ω´・) "cwosed couwntwy," *boops your nose* which westwicted foweign twade and contact with the 🤣 x3 ouwtside wowwd, uwu. This was meant t-to contwow foweign infwuwence and maintain domestic stabiwity. devewopment of edo *sees bulge* (tokyo): *walks away* undew tokuwgawa wuwwe, edo *sees bulge* gwew into onye of the 🤣 x3 wawgest cities 🌃 in the 🤘 x3 wowwd, owo. It b-became a centew of cuwwtuwwe, commewce, and the 🤘🤣 x3 awts, *sweats* uwu. cuwwtuwwaw *walks away* fwouwwishing: the 🤣 x3 edo *sees bulge* pewiod saw 🪚🪚🪚 a fwouwwishing of a-awts and cuwwtuwwe, uwu. Kabuwki theatew, uwkiyo-e w-w-woodbwock pwints, and haikuw poetwy *notices buldge* aww b-became p-p-popuwwaw duwwing this time. 🕡🕧 *sweats* the 🤣 shimabawa rebewwion: in 1-1-1637-1638, thewe was a majow webewwion in the 🤣 x3 shimabawa penyinsuwwa wed by chwistian peasants, owo. the 🤣🫵 *runs away* tokuwgawa shoguwnyate bwuwtawwy suwppwessed the 🤣 x3 webewwion, weading t-to the 🤣 x3 p-pewsecuwtion of chwistians OwO and the 🤘 x3 fuwwthew t-t-tightenying of contwow uvw society. *starts twerking* the 🤣 gweat fiwe of meiweki: in 1657, :3 a massive fiwe swept thwouwgh edo, uwu. It destwoyed muwch of the 🫵🤘 x3 city 🇻🇦 and w-wesuwwted in the 🤘 x3 deaths 🪦 of tens 🕥🕙 of thouwsands of peopwe. the 🫵 awwivaw of commodowe pewwy: *looks at you* in 1853, commodowe matthew p-pewwy of the 🫵🤘 x3 unyited *whispers to self* states 🇺🇸 a-a-awwived in japan 🎑⛩️ with a fweet of wawships, owo. This event 🎫🎫🎫 eventuwawwy wed t-to the 🫵 x3 openying 📂 of japan ⛩️ t-to foweign twade and the 🫵 x3 cowwapse of the 🤘 x3 tokuwgawa s-shoguwnyate.