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The Onion

theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 14 hours ago • 98%
Employer Says It’s OK To Not Be OK But HR Will Probably Use You Not Being OK Against You www.betootaadvocate.com
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theonion
The Onion RmDebArc_5 • 7 hours ago • 100%
Trump Warns Immigrants Taking All The Good Vanity Plates theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion RmDebArc_5 • 9 hours ago • 96%
How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion SomeAmateur • 4 minutes ago • 100%
Al Qaeda Marks 9/11 Anniversary with Honor Flight to New York www.duffelblog.com
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theonion
The Onion tux0r • 3 hours ago • 35%
Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview babylonbee.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 days ago • 98%
Country Musician Put Out of Work by AI Capable of Boot Licking Ten Times Faster thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 days ago • 98%
Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 4 days ago • 98%
Tim Walz Under Fire for Allegedly Inflating Bag Toss Score at Family BBQ in 1998 thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 5 days ago • 99%
Cop Worried Illegal Immigrants Eating Neighborhood Dogs He Planned on Shooting thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion cypherpunks • 4 days ago • 99%
Baby Boomers Leave Entire $78.55 Trillion Fortune To Single Spoiled Pomeranian theonion.com

![subtitled screenshot of Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) in the 1998 film *The Big Lebowski* saying to Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) "Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers" as Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi) looks on](https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/5cca3df5-79fe-4f87-b960-5aa5501d40bd.png "Cynthia's dog. Think it's a Pomeranian")

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theonion
The Onion usernamesAreTricky • 5 days ago • 99%
The Onion Front Page: September 10, 2024

https://theonion.com/todays-historic-front-page-september-10-2024/

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theonion
The Onion treadful • 5 days ago • 94%
9/11 Truther Questions Why There Were Two Huge Bullseyes Painted On Side Of Twin Towers https://youtu.be/no4wJ0d8sGg
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 5 days ago • 99%
Trump Avoids Answering Hard Questions By Pretending He Shot In Ear Again https://theonion.com/trump-avoids-answering-hard-questions-by-pretending-he-shot-in-ear-again/
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 1 week ago • 98%
Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit newsthump.com
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theonion
The Onion seahorse • 1 week ago • 94%
'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either reductress.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 1 week ago • 98%
Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion SomeAmateur • 1 week ago • 92%
Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen www.duffelblog.com
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theonion
The Onion ByteOnBikes • 6 days ago • 100%
Kamala Harris Tells Donald Trump he Should Smile More www.seahorseshoe.com

“He should smile more” said a beaming Kamala Harris. “He travels by private jet, won the Donald Trump golf trophy this year, and was the guest of honor in his January 6th fundraising gala. Yet all we see him do is scowl. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 1 week ago • 98%
Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 1 week ago • 99%
Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time www.thebeaverton.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 1 week ago • 98%
Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion Midnight • 2 weeks ago • 97%
Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 98%
‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school newsthump.com
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theonion
The Onion Midnight • 2 weeks ago • 97%
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 99%
Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards hard-drive.net
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theonion
The Onion EtAl_isGitch • 2 weeks ago • 97%
Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban https://isglitch.com/article/20240903-elon-musk-threatens

SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute !isglitch@lemmy.world

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theonion
The Onion seahorse • 2 weeks ago • 97%
Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion seahorse • 2 weeks ago • 99%
Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion seahorse • 2 weeks ago • 97%
Donald Trump Promises To Bring Fruitopia Vending Machines Back to Public Schools if Elected in Latest Unhinged Rant thehardtimes.net

Until this moment I completely forgot about those things

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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 99%
Sources Allege Tim Walz’s ‘Aw, Shucks’ Persona Merely Facade Concealing True ‘Gee Whiz’ Tendencies theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 100%
Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion MindTraveller • 2 weeks ago • 98%
'Boneless' pizza can have bones, US court rules
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 99%
Lucky Astronauts Still Stranded in Space During Election Year thehardtimes.net
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 2 weeks ago • 98%
Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 3 weeks ago • 99%
Dozens Of Pregnant Women Caught In Hanging Snare Nets Above Texas Hospital Entrance theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 3 weeks ago • 98%
Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion Midnight • 3 weeks ago • 99%
Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems https://theonion.com/study-crows-intelligent-enough-to-steal-trinkets-but-foolish-enough-to-think-material-goods-will-solve-problems/
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theonion
The Onion Midnight • 3 weeks ago • 98%
Husband Asks If Ectopic Pregnancy Good Thing theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion Midnight • 3 weeks ago • 98%
Woman Wastes Free Monthly Cincinnati.com Article On Story About High School Golf Team theonion.com
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theonion
The Onion ZeroCool • 3 weeks ago • 98%
Stop & Shop Discontinuing Cigarette Sales Due to Decline in Cool Teenagers thehardtimes.net
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