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Folks, how's the fam? How are you? Sorry for the late thread, I have not been well 🤒. --- * 🗨 Join us on Matrix! [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 Past [parenting threads](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New). * 📖🌈 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/3096305) to go to the "Story Time" post for this month.
Frog, an adventurous, energetic, and gregarious frog, and Toad, a talented, passionate, and at times anxious and bumbling toad, are best friends. These two characters share a great bond, one of deep friendship and love. They are, a unique and warm pair, living their best life in the woods together. They have their ups and their downs, their own unique tastes and desires, but trust each other enough to explore new things together. Created by Arnold Lobel in 1970, these two characters remain timeless. Somehow, growing up, these stories were not part of my regular rotation. I have to admit, reading these stories for the first time fills me with a kind of joy and sadness that I don't often get from kids stories. Joy in seeing these two companions so willingly express their great love for each other, and sadness, knowing how hard it can be to follow their example. Their relationship feels very real, in the sense that, it is not without its tensions. The story "Alone" is an example of the kind of anxious tension that can often exist in even the best of relationships. In this story, Toad wrestles with doubt over his friendship with Frog, after reading a note that states *"Dear Toad, I am not at home. I went out. I want to be alone."* We have all felt this feeling before, and may have even expressed it as Toad does; *“Frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone?”*, but much like in our own lives, Frog and Toad shows us that being alone isn't always negative. When Toad discovers Frog sitting alone on a stone (after falling into the pond, and ruining the lunch he prepared), Frog explains *“I am happy. I am very happy. This morning when I woke up I felt good because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog. And I felt good because I have you for a friend. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about how fine everything is.”* in the end, they are content, alone, but together. Arnold Lobel sadly, was a victim of the AIDs crises, and passed in 1987. He was survived by his ex-wife Anita Kempler, their two children, Adrianne and Adam, and his then partner Howard Weiner. Lobel led a life that I'm sure many gay men led at the time, a life that Frog and Toad are an expression of. He said, in a 1977 interview with the children's-book journal *The Lion and the Unicorn*, three years after coming out to his family, > You know, if an adult has an unhappy love affair, he writes about it. He exorcises it out of himself, perhaps, by writing a novel about it. Well, if I have an unhappy love affair, I have to somehow use all that pain and suffering but turn it into a work for children. I could go on and write countless words here about these two characters, but I think this [2016 article in The New Yorker](https://web.archive.org/web/20240715231328/https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/frog-and-toad-an-amphibious-celebration-of-same-sex-love) and this [2024 article from USA Today](https://web.archive.org/web/20240626112120/https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/books/2024/02/23/frog-and-toad-books-popularity-growing/72619910007/) would serve you better than anything I might conjure. Here's to you Frog and Toad!  *(also, the AppleTV Frog and Toad show is great)* --- This is (hopefully) going to be a monthly rotating post. I might not be able to do a write-up like this every month, so if you have any thoughts on book series or children/young-adult authors you wish to highlight, and want to write something, please let me know! **Reminders:** * 🗨 Join us on Matrix [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 There is a new [parenting thread](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New) every week! Stop by! * 📖 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/2472029) to go to the previous "Story Time" post! --- So what are you all reading with the family? Any good gets from the library recently?
## What is Matrix? **Matrix ≈ Discord - tracking + end-to-end encryption (by default)** While not 100% discord, it does support many of the features of discord (text chat, audio chats, video chats). It is also federated, similarly to how Hexbear/lemmy is federated. So, you do not need to have an account on genzedong.xyz to join the channel (see their thread [here](https://lemmygrad.ml/post/1294067) if you want to register on their server). You can sign up for a matrix.org account and still join. Like email, there are many different apps that can be used with your matrix account, but the official one is [Element](https://app.element.io/#/welcome), this is what I use. ## How to join the channel [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) is a public channel, so you are free to join from wherever your home server might be (typically matrix.org). **If you have a matrix account, skip to step 2** 1. Head to https://app.element.io/ and select "create account" 2. Once your account is created, click the room link above, or in the community sidebar, which takes you to the shared room page. 3. Find "Element" in the "Choose an app to continue" section and select "Continue". 4. The page will attempt to launch Element if you have it installed, and direct you to the room; otherwise, you can select "continue in browser" to open Element in your browser. 5. You will be prompted to join the channel in Element, click join, then you're in! ## But why? Real-time communication can be helpful when you're in the moment. The channel is configured to only show history from the moment you join, so there isn't a massive backlog of messages for someone to comb through the second they join. It's encrypted, and, while that doesn't mean too much when the room is public, it does mean the messages on the server side are secured. Ultimately, I just want to offer many means of communication for parents here, and Matrix seems good to me.
Folks, how's the fam? How are you? --- * 🗨 Join us on Matrix! [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 Past [parenting threads](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New). * 📖🌈 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/3096305) to go to the "Story Time" post for this month.
Folks, how's the fam? How are you? --- * 🗨 Join us on Matrix! [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 Past [parenting threads](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New). * 📖🌈 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/3096305) to go to the "Story Time" post for this month.
sitting here like  suppressing the urge to help when I see him mess up in a way that he will only realise in 5 steps and then reverse them one by one. Very proud of his tenacity though.
I wasn't really sure what to title this, this is just a vent post if anything. Today is the first day of school where I work, It's generally a good day for the kids, plenty of activities and not a lot of hitting to books, just time to reconnect with friends and ease into the year. Every year they have bouncy houses, and every year they are provided by the Army National Guard. They have guys out here in their uniforms, and their big ass truck that screams, "FREE TUITION" on the side. I remember having recruiters hassling me near the end of High School, but man, middle school? Now, I don't know if these folks are hanging back and simply supervising, or if they're actually chatting up the kids about the National Guard. I'll tell you, I'll be priming my kids to tell them to buzz off when they're entering this grade level.
Folks, how's the fam? How are you? --- * 🗨 Join us on Matrix! [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 Past [parenting threads](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New). * 📖🌈 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/3096305) to go to the "Story Time" post for this month.
The kid supposedly just walked up and punched my kid in the cheek in class, and chased them with scissors just a few days ago (corroborated by the teacher). I know shit happens, and they're a resilient kid, so it's not too big a deal. But I also want to raise hell to get this kid away from them. What's the next incident going to be? I understand the structural and societal issues here - the kid probably doesn't have a great home life, and the school doesn't really have anything they can do that will help him. Idk, just feeling conflicted and looking for thoughts.
I have been investigating this but several sources expose different dates ranging from 6 months old to 3 years old. Wanted to check with you all for a recommendation.
In one of Parenti's talks he refered to his son (who was still a babe at the time) as a "Red Diaper Baby". I thought it was amusing. Just trying it out. Anyway folks, how's the fam? How are you? --- * 🗨 Join us on Matrix! [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (read more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208)) * 👶 Past [parenting threads](https://hexbear.net/search?q=Weekly+Parents+Chat&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=97&creatorId=25876&page=1&sort=New). * 📖🌈 [Click here](https://hexbear.net/post/3096305) to go to the "Story Time" post for this month.
This topic comes up somewhat regularly here. If you have kids, what can you do to at least give them the best shot at understanding and embracing your communist / Marxist / dialectical materialist views? We usually come up with a couple big picture ideas, but over the last few weeks I've been jotting down very specific, concrete actions you can take. This list is not meant to exhaustive - I'm hoping you all have great ideas to share, too. But this is what I've come up with so far: (And to clarify something, I'm 100% convinced to do need to be somewhat intentional and didactic about your values and views if you want your kids to share them. To think "I'm just going to let them find their own way, I don't want to influence them" is 1,000% lib shit. I'm not even sure most liberals think that way.) **Be a good parent**: This one seems obvious, but it's so important it bears repeating and should be at the top of the list. You should be a good, involved parent for a number of reasons anyway. But, if you want your kids to share your views, being a good parent is the #1 way to encourage that. Or at least, being a shitty parent is a surefire way to make sure your kids rebel against everything you care about **Get organized**: Get involved in an org, even if it's something like DSA. It can be an actual org like PSL or even just helping feed homeless folks in your town. Your kids can see how you have a great grasp of reality thanks to materialism, which might make them inclined to think you know what you're talking about. But if they know you see the problems in the world, but aren't doing anything to change that world... I can see how some kids might see that as kinda hyprocritical. **Learn history, especially from a materialist perspective**: This is easy for me because I love history, even long before I was a Marxist. But if you don't enjoy history, I think you should at least push yourself and try to understand at least the materialist history behind what your kids will learn in school (so for American kids, making sure you understanding things like how the constitution was formed, how African-Americans have been held down throughout history, etc.). Especially if you are American, this is easy because most Americans are dumb as shit when it comes to history, and K-12 history teachers aren't much better. If your kids see that you know what you're talking about, they will largely trust your analysis. So when your kid hears in class that "the US fought the Korean War because the Soviets wanted to take over", they will know to come to you and ask if that's true - because they know you likely have a much more thorough and accurate answer. **For little kids, read history books to them**: Right now my kid loves Nelson Mandela, because we have a couple books about him. I happen to believe that fostering a love of history can definitely help point kids in the right direction (even if by itself it probably won't turn them commie). Just make sure it's "good" history and not just that crap that glazes the founding fathers. **For older kids, engage with them on what they're learning in school**: Good idea for all subjects, but especially for the social sciences. Ask questions. Be genuinely interested. While like said above, you need to be didactic but older kids especially aren't going to want to hear you rant about how Stalin saved the world from fascism for 15 minutes every time he comes up. Know when to just ask and listen with them. **Stay on top of current affairs**: Keep up with the News Mega! All the stuff I said above about history applies to news & current events. **Play some commie podcasts when you're in the car with them**: I feel like I might get push back on this, so let me explain. When I was a kid, my parents had news radio on whenever we were in the car. And even if I didn't understand what was always being talked about, I know for a fact I absorbed a ton of information passively that way. I believe that is a big reason I'm as interested in what's going on in the wider world today. I know we're generally down on leftist podcast but the reality is there's a ton of good content out there. **Try to have answers ready for when kids ask about what you believe**: I think especially for younger kids, it's good to have simple answers ready that they can understand. And don't worry about being precisely correct in your response. When your kid asks “are we republicans or democrats?” or “do you vote for republicans or democrats, keeping in mind they may have a hard time understanding a complicated response. Say something like “I vote for whoever helps poor people or immigrants or people who work for a living”. That's much better than trying to explain the drawbacks of electoralism to a 7 year old. Obviously you can be more detailed and precise with older kids. **Try and have leftist adult friends who also have kids**: Believe me, I get how hard this. It's nearly impossible to find any broadly leftist parents in my area, much less those who have time for socializing. So this is more of an ideal to try and reach, not a concrete action. But I think having some friends around who share your views - and have kids who can befriend your kids - is very effective. Just hard to pull off. **Push back hard against any transphobia or homophobia**: Whether you see it IRL or in media, don't hesitate to be clear with your kids what being LGBTQ is about and that anyone who against LGBTQ rights sucks. I say this because I was raised in an environment very hostile to LGBTQ people. Just the other day, my kid wanted her two Barbie dolls to get married. For a fraction of second, there was that old voice in the back of my head saying "they're too young to understand". But of course they're not, and I explained how of course two Barbies can get married. Kids DO need to understand the validity of LGBTQ identities at a very young age. **If you're white, teaching anti-racism is important**: Because if you're white, it's incredibly easy to fall into the trap of "well I'm not racist and no other white people I know are racist, so racism must be over". It's easy because white society pushes this notion so hard. You absolute have to teach kids about systematic racism and how they actually do need to stand up to racist pricks, because they *will* encounter them. That's the list I have so far, would love to hear your additions.
Hey folks, how's the fam? How are you? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
Hey folks, how's the fam? How are you? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
Hey folks, how's the fam? How are you? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
Hey folks, how's the fam? How are you? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
www.afterbabel.com
It's a lady talking about raising her three sons without smartphones until 16 and without social media until 18. Do kids in America commonly end up having personal smartphones before 16? She talks about how one of her sons had to scan a QR code for schoolwork. He is some age younger than 16 so I find that a bit insane.
It's something that my nephews caretakers do. He is less than two years old right now. There are a couple of people that the kid is extremely attached to which I think is normal. If they have to leave, they do it behind his back when he is distracted. I asked an LLM if this was a commonly used method and it said it's called "slipping out" but it's an LLM so... Maybe I am being naive and sentimental but I don't know how to feel about it. It is convenient for sure. Taking care of a child is challenging as is. But at a basic level it just feels like a bad thing to do. Lying to a child and leaving behind their back. The child is showing a behaviour that I think could be a side effect of it but it could also just be normal. The child gets upset if one of the aforementioned people that he is overly attached to, for example, go to the bathroom to take a piss. And it's worse when only one of them is at home. They to go take a piss behind the kid's back so he doesn't notice. Any of you all have experience with something like this? I guess it's natural for a child to get attached to certain people but oftentimes the most convenient way to deal with an issue is not the best one.
Didn't know this week would be a decade but here we are. Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
How's the fam? Burgerlander's, hope you had a safe 4th of July weekend, don't loose any fingers. Showed this video to Kid1 the other night and she wants to hear it all the time now 😅. It's cute, and I think, a nice affirmation. Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
I used to make spaghetti for a two year old and it is the only thing that I have seen him eat willingly. He eats it like a fiend. The mother wants to introduce more fibre in his diet but I am out of ideas because I suck donkey ass at cooking. I once tried oats-banana-cinnamon pancakes but the child spit it out because it tasted like shit. (I have posted about it before.) If you have medium or high fibre recipe suggestions please share. It's a bit of an odd request so sorry about that but I don't know where to turn to. The internet is a search engine optimised wasteland.
How's the fam? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
Our kids are young, 3.5y and 13m. Now things are finally starting to become easier in some ways, and in other ways there are new challenges to deal with. These challenges, like all challenges, wear on you, and recently, my SO and I have lost most of our tolerance for the platitudes we hear so regularly from people asking "How are you, how are the kids?" My SO, more so than myself, is very direct and honest with these questions. Often, their response is met with the usual platitudes: * Oh well, you know, you'll look back and miss this time when they're older! * If you think it's bad now, wait until they are teenagers! * Well, that's called being a parent, right!? * You can sleep when they're 18! Har Har har. * and on and on and on... I think this is an extension of this American social tendency, where our greetings are empty, but to an outsider signal a desire to "check in". The classic "Hey, how are you?" and the only acceptable answer is "Good, and you?" The general vibe I'm left with is that, the experience of parenting was always better before whatever age the kids are now, the current experience of parenting is no good, and the future experience of parenting will be worse. Since this is a kind of universal platitude, however, the sentiments ring hollow. Personally, despite the challenges we're having, I really enjoy parenting at the moment. I don't know how I'll feel when they're older, but I can't imagine I'd feel any different. I've had close friends who are parents tell me they look back on the youngest years of parenting and are happy their kids are older. They tell me they are in a much better place now that their kids are independent, and that they can more easily enjoy shared interests like reading or gaming. I appreciate their honesty because it's so refreshing. I guess, in summary, this is mostly just a rant. My SO and I are regularly keeping it real with people regarding how we're doing and how the kids are. When people can't seem to show us the same realness, it's frustrating. These sentiments effectively terminate the conversation. Conversations that could otherwise be reassuring, validating, or cathartic. Instead, they're just a series of robotic exchanges.
Hope you are all keeping cool in this heatwave! How's the fam? Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
Shout out to all the Daddies! Hope you all have a good day! Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
These Tanuki statues give my SO the ick, but I love them. I've teased getting one for the house, but she beat me to it! Ick be damned. We saw them all over Japan when we went years ago. Nice reminder of that trip 😁.
i gave a kid too many bananas, therefore gentle parenting is bad thank you business insider for your brilliant insights
I’ve read through some of the top posts for r/therian. I have a vague understanding of otherkin in general but hadn’t heard of therians in particular. If my kid said they were a furry, I’d be well within my comfort zone. I fuck with furries. But this seems like people who feel they are trans-species and talk about having species dysphoria. I just don’t know what to make of it but I’m also trying to not overreact or let my snap judgements alienate my kid. I assume they feel like they’ve just had to come out to me, which is something I’ve gone out of my way to not make necessary in terms of gender and sexuality stuff. Just didn’t see this coming. If the worst thing that happens is they enjoy making animal noises and spend more time out in nature, I’m super down. If they start experiencing alienation from their own identity because of this, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
Hey Fam! Hope you're doing well! Feel free to join us on Matrix: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz). Learn more [here](https://hexbear.net/post/2693208).
(I've settled for baba instead of papa) (papa is german for dad)
School is almost out (or is out, depending on where you're at) for summer! How is everyone doing with the heat? Also I created a Matrix channel on the genzedong instance: [#parenting:genzedong.xyz](https://matrix.to/#/#parenting:genzedong.xyz) (let me know if the URL works. Still learning matrix)
Forgot to post this yesterday 😅 busy day with the family. Hope y'all had a good long weekend!
Kid 1 got this as a gift when they turned 1. They're 3.5 now and we started reading these before bed recently. They're really fun, and scratches my D&D/Role Playing itch. I tend to fall back on my DMing instincts, so a lot of "what do you do next?" Or "do you look/listen for something?" A lot of fun for sure.
I am looking for information and anecdotes about children that are about 20 months old and their tendency to throw tantrums. My nephew has started to become belligerent when it comes to throwing tantrums. For example, he gets a hold of something that we would not like him to hold, then refuse to give it back. Usually we would try to distract him with some other attractive object and sneak the former object while he is not looking. If we even try to gently wrest the object from his grasp, he starts crying really badly. Like really badly. It is a bit terrifying. Part of me thinks that this behaviour is learnt. He must have noticed this strategy working for him in the past so he has begun to do it more. On the other hand, children do be throwing tantrums. I also don't want to baselessly entertain the notion of stricter parenting. As a cold, heartless individual I try to be skeptical of approaches like this to counterbalance my biases. Thoughts and experiences?
I linked to this thread, only because it's what got me thinking about this topic again. Me and my SO talk about phones occasionally, regarding our kids. Neither of them are anywhere close to an age where they might have one. However, as time goes on, we find ourselves so repelled by the idea of the kids having a fully fledged smartphone. Given the reality that all social media apps are effectively skinner boxes, training you to use them more, the idea of allowing kids on them feels like offering a 10-year-old a cigarette. I have to remind myself that the internet I grew up on is dead and gone. I may have been exposed to some weird ass shit in AOL chat rooms, but there wasn't any kind of algorithmic content feed keeping me itching and scratching. So far, the only time the oldest uses an iPad is when they use mine, and the only apps they use are Procreate for drawing, and an app that helps kids learn to write letters and words. Watching TV is probably the worst thing we get into at home when it comes to just pure content consumption, but we keep the list of watchable stuff pretty small, and regularly axe shows we feel don't meet our standards when we venture off that list. I guess this has evolved into a larger discussion about media consumption as I have typed this out, but at the end of the day, that's what's happening on these phones, right?