When you have to give a book report on a book you never read.

“And you’re fake news. I’m the only one that’s coherent. I cohear to all the things the radical left is trying to take away from us. Guns? Immigrants? They’re all - and listen, this is why we must the border. Well keep the immigrants out, because they’re letting the asylums and the kennels pour in, and it’s dangerous and reckless what they do to us. It’s sad, really it is. Almost tragic. Such a shame, what Kowala is doing to the American people. And she cohered the Biden agenda right? I fixed this country and our immigration problem. I concepted plans with Putin - great man, by the way, a strong man. And that’s what the America’s needs is a strong man. Are you paying attention? Look what they did to us, all these world leaders are laughing at us - laughing because we cohered how weak we are. We need strong leaders, leaders that will close down the borders and stop with the EVs, which are heavy by the way, and for to radical left, it doesn’t make me feel good. Why? Why not, I say. And no one’s talking about it but me. I’ve been told by my uncle, who works for MIT in their training camps, that I have big smarts. Almost coherent, really. And that’s the truth. But Biden- I mean Harold? She doesn’t know the first thing about running a country. She used to be a country, did you know that? There’s so many things they don’t tell you. And that’s for me, only because national secrets and why we’ll make this country prosper because we’re gonna be in World War 3, because these other countries with the nukes, they’re laughing at us. I’ve been to Russia. I’ve been to that one country that’s on the news, and I know Kim Jong Bill, he and I are great friends. I’ve made deals with the Taliban. And I talked to Abdul - who’s the one doing the murders by the way - and I warned him and said “don’t you do that. Don’t you do anymore of the killing or you’re gonna have problems.” And he says, “Mr. Trump, why do you send me a picture of my house?” And I said, “that’s for you to figure out Abdul.” I’ve made many deals, sometimes we didn’t deal with immigration, but my administration made it bigger and better than ever. Greatest economy this country’s ever seen, and we’re heading down the darkest path now. The worst immigration, the worst economy, the worst presidents in history - ever. We need respect, and only I can make that happen. The left? They want to eat your babies - shocking, isn’t it? It’s sad really, truly it is.”

“You’re fake news. I got five stars. Can’t read can you? Such a shame, sad, tragic - really it is - that the radical left is not only unsmart, but they take the things that I say out of contest. Why do they do this? Because they’re eating all the people that scored less than 3 stars. And trust me, no one knows more about this stuff than I do. Camille? Worst VP ever in the history of this country, and George Biden? Why’d they force him out? Do you think it’s because of the number of stars he got on his test? Maybe they should go back to wearing a star on their shirt, you know, supposing we did that? Wouldn’t it be great? If you can see the number of stars on your shirt, and that would tell people how big brain you are? Sounds interesting. The Republican Party will look into this, I think.”

Ugh how could I forget, blast it!

“I have a really smart uncle who went to MIT. I consulted him and grew up with him, and he taught me many things that I carry today. And I’m the only one who can do this because no one knows more about this stuff than me. Skinny genes? You bet I’ve got them. I’ve got them locked up! Crypto? The immigrants are trying to eat our genes. But we’re looking into that you know. And some people asked me, “how come you got so smart, how come you know so much?” And I said, “I’ve got experts looking into this, could we bring MIT into the body? Almost like a smartening? Sounds interesting, it would be interesting for us to look into.” And after I said that they looked at me and said, “Mr. Trump, what the hell are you talking about?” And I smiled and pulled them into my handshake and laughed, saying, “pump my cryptic coin. It’s gonna be big, it’s gonna be better and stronger than Bitcoin. It’s gonna be the best that ever was, because I made MIT.”

“No one, and I mean this, truly I do, no one knows more about crypto than me. Ask anyone? My team of experts and I, and they’re smart people. They’ve got big brains, tremendous even, hyuuuuuuuuge. And they tested me right? Right? I took an IQ test and I got all five stars. That’s the greatest IQ of any sitting president in the history of America, and I didn’t even study. They asked me, “how come you’re so smart?” And I said, and I told this to them because by the way they’re the greatest brains we’ve ever assembled in our administration, the democrats wouldn’t know this because they’re terribly not smart and ignoramus— but I says, “it’s because I’ve been born into business and I led this country and created Billions and Billions of dollars. I can creat The Crypto!,” I told them. And they looked at me and said, “Sure whatever you say boss.” We have a tremendous administration, and part of, the EV batteries is because they’re heavy? We have heavy batteries, and really it comes down to immigration. Other countries are sending their criminals and derel— deruhlickies— you know what I mean. Gestures vaguely at head with accordion hands. And truthfully, we have to make this country great, because all the democrats and the radical left are being anti cryptic. Why? Is there a reason why they don’t promote cryptoast? Is it because they’re corrupt like all these immigrants that are causing crime and poisoning this country? Why is that? It seems like I’m the only one asking. And no one knows more about it than I do, and this is why we have to remember to take back this country and show up and show out on November Firth. Buy my Crypto, and apes hold strong and don’t sell until next year - trust me, I’m going to make out like a bandit— uh by winning the election!”

Barges into room.

Them: “Are you hacking, son?

Me: “No.”

Them: “Cool. I’m just a hotel employee, and I only have understanding of computers at an end-user level. Plus, I see you’re not wearing a hoodie and sunglasses while being hunched over a laptop. Have a nice day and enjoy your stay at the Hilton!”

lol yep, there’s not much sense in a lot of things he says. I put that satirical response together based on all the times I’ve had to hear the orange felon talk

Some quotes about Taylor Swift from the fascist, convicted felon rapist that's running for President:

"She’s got a great star quality. She really does. I think she’s beautiful — very beautiful! I find her very beautiful. I think she’s liberal. She probably doesn’t like Trump. I hear she’s very talented. I think she’s very beautiful, actually — unusually beautiful!”

Asked specifically what he thinks of her music, Trump admitted:

“Don’t know it well.”

When he was asked if he thinks she is politically liberally, Trump responded:

“She is liberal, or is that just an act? She’s legitimately liberal? It’s not an act? It surprises me that a country star can be successful being liberal.”

Without Trump being able to generate some new AI images, how will Trump respond?

"I'm a mastermind... of weaving! You thought I was incoherently weaving -- I mean rambling? No one, and I mean no one - and I mean this, really I do - no one knows more about --. Look, I've talked with a lot of experts. Officially, really smart people. They have a smart, you know what. And the thing about electric cars is that they're heavy. You know? And the batteries? They have to go over bridges, right? We have to ensure that we reduce the weight, because one, two, four, sexteen, uh... eight, more cars go over the bridge, and that's just. Look, that's exactly why we needt o be careful about what we think Jill Biden is trying to do here. And these experts, they agree with me. Really smart people, tremendous brains, hyuuuuuuuge brains. And they've-- look I've taken an IQ test and I got high scores. But I'm talking, they're talking, we're talking with experts. And EVs just can't run on gas. That's what they tell you, and that's what the fake news says about Taylor Swift. Is she liberal? Is she not? Does she endorse me? I think if she got to know me she'd endorse me. And Russia you know, they're not all that bad, but they would say that if anything, and no one, I mean no one really knows, you know? This is why we need to make sure we show up in full force, with arms wide open, and then we can kick Obama out. That's the only way. You see the things on the Facebook where they share the pictures and post things? That's all fake, and it's the fake news that are controlled by the puppets. We have to, and I mean this, really I do, I'm specifically weaving here, that the only mastermind that can, and no one does this but me, but I tell you we have to make sure that the mastermind is the one. And that's sad, really it is. Tragic. But I tell you, Taylor Swift certainly is one of them. And if she does not endorse me, it would be the biggest mistake ever - and no one, I mean this - truly , I do, no one knows more about mistakes than I do - ever."

“Look in the tunk.”

“I guess he means trunk.”

Hi there! Sorry, the contest is already over as of Aug 31st. I'm drawing winners now and just waiting to hear back from people as they trickle in their responses.

Keep an eye on the next one: I'm aiming to do another one somewhere around the upcoming Winter holiday. Cheers!

LOL at the Hee Hee GIF. Happy to help and really hope you enjoy it! Take care!

Happy to pay it forward and help some gamers out! Look out for the next one if you're interested!

The Random Number Generator shined on you today! :) Hope this makes your day mate!

@jeffreyosborne@lemm.ee - Woo hoo! Enjoy Tomb Raider, hope you have a blast playing them! They're pretty great games overall and were my introduction to the Tomb Raider series! Sent you a Direct Message now!

@boxscape@Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org - Woo hoo! I'd do anything for that Dr. Evil gif!

Sending you the code privately now!

@Kaiserschmarrn@feddit.org - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Tomb Raider I-III Remastered! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Googlyman64@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Tomb Raider Definitive Survivor Trilogy! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@jeffreyosborne@lemm.ee - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Tomb Raider Definitive Survivor Trilogy! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Octopath Traveler! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Cossty@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of NieR:Automata Game of the YoRHa Edition! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Hogwarts Legacy: Deluxe Edition! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@anguo@lemmy.ca - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Hogwarts Legacy: Deluxe Edition! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Xatolos@reddthat.com - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Fuzzypyro@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@cybertaco@CyberTaco@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Final Fantasy I-VI Bundle (Pixel Remasters)! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@Apeman42@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Final Fantasy I-VI Bundle (Pixel Remasters)! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

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@M0115732@lemmy.world - Congratulations! You've been selected as the winner of Crisis Core -Final Fantasy- VII Reunion! You will have 48 hours to acknowledge me before I send you the code. Please respond to my Direct Message. If you do not respond back to me in 48 hours, your entry will be forfeited and I will redraw for the another winner.

If you do win and claim the game key, for transparency purposes please respond back to my comment letting everyone know you were successful - but only if you want to. Hope to hear back from you!

@midimalist@lemdro.id - Congratulations! Since you're the only one who entered for Strange Horticulture, you're the winner! I've sent you a Direct Message containing the key! If you would like for transparency purposes, please reply to my comment here and let everyone know you successfully claimed it. Thanks for entering and happy you won!

@EpicStuff@lemmy.ca - Congratulations! Since you're the only one who entered for Sniper Elite 4, you're the winner! I've sent you a Direct Message containing the key! If you would like for transparency purposes, please reply to my comment here and let everyone know you successfully claimed it. Thanks for entering and happy you won!

@Aviandelight@mander.xyz - Congratulations! Since you're the only one who entered for Pony Island, you're the winner! I've sent you a Direct Message containing the key! If you would like for transparency purposes, please reply to my comment here and let everyone know you successfully claimed it. Thanks for entering and happy you won!

Or a giveaway where the only permissible entries are pet pics.

Not that I'm biased toward cats or anything like that.

All you had to do was stay in my ass.

Exactly, and this is additionally why it is predatory: you can't opt out.

It's similar to Facebook. If you never in your life ever created a profile, well, Facebook has one for you regardless.

The only way you can opt out of bluetooth beacons is to not bring your phone/smart watch/etc, or have either a hardware switch that disables your network functions or put it in a faraday cage. Also, because of data profiles and associations, if you're walking into a store with your partner, expect that your partner should do the same or else it's all moot. You're associated with your partner and thus tracking and profiling occurs anyway.

No tinfoil hat needed. Retail stores are equipped with bluetooth beacons that tracks and monitors customer behavior. This in turn can be sold for targeted advertising. Another scary thought is that the tracking is so precise, it measures the distance your phone is from a product, including height. How high is the phone from the ground? The data points can be extrapolated to influence product placement: what products and prices influenced a customer to bend down and look at/interact with the product? How long were they in close proximity with the product? Based on the phone’s orientation, were they bent down to look at or passing by the product (indicating that they stopped for a separate reason and not necessarily for the product)? Did they buy it? Were they looking for coupons in my “retail store app” while next to the product, or somewhere else in the store? Where do customers often stop or gather in order to browse through coupons? Could we place Y products there? Where should we put the product in stores to maximize sales? What ads can we send to them as they arrive at the store? Based on aggregated data with the rich profile we built for this customer, are they likely to sign up for our rewards credit card? What is this customer’s income level? Have they purchased X product recently? What part of town do they live in? What products are popular there? Et cetera ad nauseum.

Tracking is so predatory. Makes me look at my smart phone with disgust as the years go by, and I periodically grapple with the decision if a smart phone is even right for me or if it’s time to stick to a computer and a truly dumb phone going forward.

Some public info about Bluetooth beacons: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/06/14/opinion/bluetooth-wireless-tracking-privacy.html

Want to find Bluetooth beacons? Simply install a Bluetooth scanner app from your phone and head to a store to see them.

Here’s how Shopify engages businesses on how to utilize Bluetooth beacons with their software package. Bought anything online? That site was most likely powered by Shopify: https://www.shopify.com/retail/the-ultimate-guide-to-using-beacon-technology-for-retail-stores

Not yet, I’ll be working on it tomorrow or this weekend. Have a couple personal obligations but I’ll be drawing winners using the original post

If I connect a new Logitech mouse with a dedicated AI button to this, will the two AIs collaborate, or will they fight each other for control to win my affection?

I’ve had no excitement for this game since Ubisoft is such a disappointment of mediocrity. I grew bitter to them back when they announced the controversial shutting down of their legacy activation servers: this would prevent gamers from passing the online checks to play their games. Suddenly, despite me possessing a physical disc of Splinter Cell Blacklist on Wii U, I learned I would lose access to the DLC I paid for and “owned”. Certain missions would also become unplayable since you need online co-op. Ubisoft backpedaled after significant backlash from gamers, but since then I hesitate whenever I see them attached to any project.

I miss old Ubisoft. I’m playing Beyond Good & Evil 2003 on my GameCube for the first time, and this game is spectacular! Wish Ubisoft didn’t become evil, but it was inevitable.

Thanks, this is the actual quote from The Office. I dislike that the meme gets it wrong and says “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”

It is like misquoting Darth Vader saying “Luke, I am your father” when the actual quote is “No, I am your father”.

Same dude. My love for Ash’s Pikachu was cemented when, as a kid, I watched Pikachu tank a lightning bolt and save Ash from a swarm of Spearow. Such a great episode and a memory that kid me will never forget, an invaluable lesson about friendship and love.

That episode made me beg my parents for Pokémon Red. Ha, and Pocket Pikachu now that I think about it - the Pokémon Tamagatchi.