China forces citizens to eat poo
Breaking news! It has come to our attention that the evil seeseepee regime is FORCING ITS CITIZENS TO EAT POO!!1!1!1!11111!!!
Yes, that is correct. The evil authoritarian chinese government has seemingly run out food, so it is making its citizens eat their own poo instead. Now this has seemingly been going on for quite a while, as all those yellow ching-chongs are far weaker and dumber than Superior White Man.
The head of the ccp himself, Dictator Xae Jun Poohng, has issued an official statement regarding the issue: "1984 big brother george orwell animal farm no food 100 marxillion dead EAT YOUR OWN POO PEASANTS!!!!!11!1!!!!!"
This is yet another in a long chain of moves where the ccp has been evil to its citizens. Not like we care about those yellow hordes, but we hate the government, not the people. Well, we hate the people, too, but that's besides the point here.
Anyways, ignore what people tell you, that poop has no nutritional value and therefore is horrible food. It's possible. I bet they probably stole some evil secret voldemort darth vader palpatine necromancy magic to make the poop edible. I mean, they do deserve to eat poo given that they're an inferior race, but for this article we're only hating on the government.
Anyways, China is now even more of an unlivable hellhole than before. Please don't go there, you'll probably die or get shot by the police or something.